The feelings are so raw here. I can completely get the feeling of total loss because the only person that ever mattered just left. Wow.

The idea is definitely interesting. I hope you put more stories out there like this one. The idea of a coin, or any item like that, not being claimed by anyone, but being so valuable to someone that they would resort to killing for it.

I like your style of writing. It gets your point across clearly and pointedly. The final part of the poem is the best in my opinion. The feeling is that of a city that has forgotten it's people.

This one is really good. I know the feeling girl. When you're hiding something that you want to show, but you can't. It sucks. Write what you feel and it'll always be good.

The flow could be worked on. The line about "syrupy sweet bubble pink coated slick words play on eager ears" doesn't make a lot of sense to me. That line is too wordy and makes it hard to really get your message.

I like this. It flows well and says a lot about today's society.

I know the feeling. You hide everything until it nearly kills you, then how do you get rid of it? I still have yet to find a good way to keep it from getting to this point, the point of your poem.

hey, I know how you feel, hiding stuff all the time from someone. Keep writing what's in your heart, and it'll always turn out right. Just don't forget you've got friends that care, no matter what.

wow. what an ending. I definitely didn't see that one coming. I like it. The only complaint is how it goes from being third person to first person, through her eyes. The jump made it a little difficult to follow. It took me a minute to realize who was talking when you changed speakers.

My only complaint is that you probably should have kept the last three stanzas in first person, like the rest of the piece. It caused the ending to be somewhat distant in my opinion, which takes away from its message. Otherwise, it was an excellent piece.