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AGE: 31
LAST LOGIN: May 10

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Short Story / to forgive
Version 1
11 Reviews   3 Comments
A crispness in the air took me back to a night four years ago. Unlike tonight, I was stumbling home scared and unaware of the bruises developing into shades of black and yellow. My mouth tasted of stale beer mixed with metallic undertones. I would later realize it was a mixture of vomit and blood, but at the time it made me feel inorganic – a machine. Earlier in the night I had the misfortune of running into a few assholes that saw me leaving a gay bar and decided to embark upon a mission of ...
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Short Story / personal effects
Version 1
6 Reviews   2 Comments
Dennis sat in his apartment surrounded by the things he’d collected over the years. He looked around at the couches, televisions, small kitchen appliances and various electronic toys. The usual traces of a personal life were lacking, making him suspicious of his past. Someone had already come by to take his old bed, dresser and desk. The bedroom itself was barren. The only proofs of his existence were the impressions left in his carpet. Over time those would fade. “You’re serious about leavin...
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Short Story / euphemisms
Version 1
8 Reviews   0 Comments
Thomas sat in a chair by his window and watched as she made her way down the spiral stairwell of her apartment building. Each floor had a window and each time she appeared in one, the clichéd drop in his stomach reminded him of why he kept at a distance. With time, she would become a fond memory from his past but in the meantime, he was well aware that he was bordering on stalking her. He watched as she reached the front doors and climbed into a cab that was waiting outside. Every night was t...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Short Story / The Eve
I found this piece to be well written. I enjoyed the images you conjured with your choice of wording. The pacing was good too.. although I'm torn between feeling like it's a part of a longer piece and feeling like it's complete on its own. Good job!
Short Story / Priceless
I like how the story begins. Even though the main character hasn't said anything we immediately get an idea of what he is like by the words chosen to describe things. In the fourth paragraph you write "Stating out the large front window." but I think you mean staring. Just a minor thing though. I really wasn't sure where you were going with this story. It was well written, and then, as I read the last two paragraphs I actually broke out laughing. Well done. The pacing towards the end was good...
Novel Treatments / The Plastic Room - Prologue
Embarassingly enough... I had to look up prologue in a dictionary. This was well written.. I found no technical flaws, and it flowed well, but it didn't quite grab me. I think the problem that I had was that I was told a lot, but not shown a lot. Mind you, that was probably what you were going for... since it's the prologue. I am definitely interested in seeing where this goes though... keep it up!
Short Story / Confetti
I was instantly interested in the story. I found the part where you begin to talk about "the Incident" to be a bit stilted. Perhaps it was the way it was worded? I had to reead it a few times before I understood what she was talking about. I loved the imagery as well. "..rammed the butt back in her mouth... angry horse" Excellent line! I really loved how throughout the story there was a lingering sense of resentment in Candi's tone, and her way of looking at things. The way the story ended wa...
Deleted Item
This is good seeing as it was written in 12 minutes. The only suggestions that I would have would be to expand on it. Maybe from the "but no one had really understood...." on, you could expand on it. I think there's alot of material there, and that it ends abruptly. Good job though. Kudos.
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