bsheldon's profile

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AGE: 29
LOC: Old Saybrook, CT
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 23

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Non-fiction / Fuck It
Version 2
1 Review   0 Comments
     Growing up, there were always a lot of people at my house. My mom and step dad were sociable people. In their line of work, it paid to be sociable--it gave them a chance to show off the product and find new buyers. I understood this, but didn’t particularly enjoy the company. Unfortunately, a high percentage of their male friends were, well, creepy, to use a nice term for it. I never knew what drugs they were on at any given time (to give my parents credit, they...
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Non-fiction / Snowmobiles, Buttershots, and Elvis
Version 2
2 Reviews   2 Comments
      When I was fifteen, I was working for my mom’s friend, Steve, as a babysitter. He was 32, divorced, and working as a trucker. His two kids were by far the biggest brats I’ve ever met in my life. That really has no relevance to the story, but has to be mentioned.      One day, Steve invited me and my mom to a snowmobile race the following weekend. Mom was busy, but said that I might as well go since I’d never been to one befo...
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Quotes / Why I Started Writing
Version 1
15 Reviews   5 Comments
Voices (sssshhhh) wouldn't (shut up!) stop...
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Poetry / Untitled (so far)
Version 1
6 Reviews   7 Comments
I am not yours. You are not mine. I will not be owned. You will never be tamed. I know you as I know myself. I will never fully understand you. You are always in the rooms of my soul Where there are doors you will never unlock. You tore the bars from my prison cell, I stayed with you in yours. You are the army that stands beside me. Mine is the voice that speaks from the void. We are madness, chaos, confusion. We are the calm center. We are the rain and the wind and the lightning. We are the ...
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Quotes / My life as an Artist
Version 1
15 Reviews   2 Comments
"Gained my freedom, found my voice."
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Reviews
Humor/Satire / Free: Magic cat and 5 mildly retarded kittens
by butterfly323
That is a great idea for an ad. I don't really see it being published anywhere else, I just don't know what it would be published in, but it is funny. You seem to be good at being funny without being over the top--very sarcastic, which I like. I'd like to see what you could do with that in an actual short story.
Flash Fiction / Peter & Ryan
by raiher
I liked the idea of the story, and I thought you wrote it well. I understood why Peter would stay and try to reason with his friend, since they were very close, but I didn't quite get why they were. Nothing in Ryan came across as someone I could sympathize with, and no clues were really given as to why they were friends in the first place. From what little I gathered about Peter, he didn't seem like someone who would have Ryan for a friend. Too much backstory would ruin this, but I'd like to ...
Flash Fiction / V2 All Good Catholic Boys Like to Suck Lolly's Pop
by Johnsienoel
That was very good. I guessed before the end that she either wasn't real or was dead or something, but I wasn't sure so the ending was still good. I loved that you showed him trying to pray, but you could tell it was just something that had been sort of ingrained in him from youth without any real faith or meaning. That happens so much in reality. Overall, a great story, I have no suggestions for improvement.
Flash Fiction / Watch Your Mouth
by axiom49
In the beginning it's not immediately clear whose hand is shaking, almost spilling the coffee. It became clear that it was Wedzell, but then I had to go back and read the sentence again. You also might want to say "Wedzell lit a cigarette..." just for clarity. I read and reread and still have no idea what's in the glovebox. Were there hints given that I missed or is it supposed to be completely unknown? Overall, it really just needs more info, not even so much a backstory, but for the end.
Humor/Satire / Meeting the Parents (One Egg or Two?)
by Anonymous
This was pretty funny. Very true descriptions of what can happen at the store. On the first page, the sentence "I reminded her repeatedly..." is kind of hard to read. Maybe move "if anything" before "we were overly..." to make it smoother. I don't understand, if he knows that item placement matters, why did he put the test on top of the beer? If item placement is being discussed in hindsight, maybe move that to the part of the story where he's already met the parents. Otherwise it sounds like...
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