bubba52's profile
AGE:
55
LOC: Canada
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 04
LOC: Canada
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 04
Through the rediscovery of the joy of books in the past few years, I have also discovered the urge to write myself. I am just beginning and am mostly ‘thinking out loud’ in my work, about life situations. But my eventual goal is to publish the novel that I know I have inside my soul.
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her·mit·age / –noun 1. the habitation of a hermit. 2. any secluded place of residence or habitation; retreat; hideaway. Why did this word wake me from a sleep? What does this word mean to me, as opposed to the dictionary entry above? Why does this word seem suddenly as important as any I have ever heard? Is it because of what my friend ‘the Hermitess of Minden’ (I teasingly call her), said to me the other day, during a walk through her hermitage? She said that to write my book, I would need t...
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What makes dreams so real What brings them to life Thinking that someone is here To reach out and touch Why do dreams torture the soul That can’t have what it needs When do dreams nourish the heart So that it no longer bleeds?
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What makes dreams so real What brings them to life Thinking that someone is here To reach out and touch Why do dreams torture the soul That can’t have what it needs When do dreams nourish the heart So that it no longer bleeds?
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Version 1
4 Reviews
4 Comments
her·mit·age / –noun 1. the habitation of a hermit. 2. any secluded place of residence or habitation; retreat; hideaway. Why did this word wake me from a sleep? What does this word mean to me, as opposed to the dictionary entry above? Why does this word seem suddenly as important as any I have ever heard? Is it because of what my friend ‘the Hermitess of Minden’ (I teasingly call her), said to me the other day, during a walk through her hermitage? She said that to write my book, I would need t...
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Version 2
2 Reviews
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A year ago today…we met A year tossed away, like that Can’t recover the time Can’t recover from you Why did you have to be the one To answer my call A year ago today
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Reviews
This is very straight-forward in its communication of feeling, story-telling and intent. Sometimes poetry is very abstract, but this is very direct and I like it because of that (a stylistic preference, I guess). There is no denying what the situation was, and what the result was, as sad as it appears to have been. (And don't people use words against each other WAY too much??)
This is the piece that drew me to your writing to begin with. It is a very nicely-constructed traditionally-rhythmic piece of poetry. I like the line "I wrote the names on them", it has an ironic quality of personalizing the anonymous bricks of the wall. My only suggestion would be to have come up with something different for the line "and try to make it real." It just doesn't work for me for some reason, I guess I just don't get it. You find your pockets of happiness (plural) and try to make...
I love the positive mood of this piece. A nice juxtaposition of 'the mundane' and the spiritual. This is such a positive bit of self-affirmation. I hope it does that for you each time you read it, as well as when you wrote it. So often writing comes out of negative or sad experiences and this comes from a wonderful, exhilarating place instead. Favorite phrases: "The physical belongs to the world. The mind belongs to you." Also the final two lines. Makes me glad to be alive!
This is a well-written piece, in many ways. It gets across the idea of the darkness of death, the frustration with society's obsession with it and the medical community and society's attempts to 'put in a box', so to speak. I loved the metaphor about horses being put down. I also loved the fact that there was a sense of humor and relief at the end, since it was pretty dark and angry throughout. Well-constructed, well-conceived and...get well soon, okay?
Well, the anger and resentment is there, that's for sure. I liked the Eden metaphor a lot. On a sociological note, you might want to be careful about being quite so misogynistic. It doesn't go over well with female readers.
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