c2darad's profile
AGE:
26
LOC: Riverside, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 14
LOC: Riverside, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 14
My inspiration tends to come from depression and lonliness. I enjoy reading and writing fiction that has depressing or demented story lines. I don’t usually like happy endings or predictable characters, but it just depends on my mood.
Items
Version 5
8 Reviews
8 Comments
I felt a piercing contempt for her as she cackled at Jack's bad joke. These days, I couldn't even get her to crack a smile at a joke of mine short of brilliant. He clumsily refilled her glass of red wine, which was smeared with lipstick and fingerprints. I looked over at his tight-ass of a wife. She'd been complaining about her mistrust for their babysitter all night and I imagined she was eager to get home to her children. I had seen her shoot her husband a few dirty glances, but he hadn't ...
Version 2
12 Reviews
2 Comments
I felt a piercing contempt for her as she cackled at his bad joke. A year ago I couldn't get her to even crack a smile at a joke short of brilliant. He clumsily refilled her glass of red wine, which was smeared with lipstick and fingerprints. I looked over at his wife. She was as bored as I was. He continued on with his tasteless humor, guzzling his wine and refilling it often. It became an amusement of mine to watch the two act like fools while imagining his wife scolding him in the morning ...
Version 1
25 Reviews
14 Comments
I felt a piercing contempt for her as she cackled at his bad joke. A year ago I couldn't get her to even crack a smile at a joke short of brilliant. Now she was drunk, and it was becoming a usual Friday night event. He clumsily refilled her glass of red wine, which was smeared with lipstick and fingerprints. I looked over at his wife. She was as bored as I was. He continued on with his toilet humor, guzzling his wine and refilling it often. It became an amusement of mine to watch these two ac...
Version 3
3 Reviews
0 Comments
I was beginning to feel like the only virgin on earth. I wasn’t interested in sex for any other reason than to lose my virginity. Maybe that was normal, maybe that's why everyone was having sex. It seemed more likely than they actually enjoyed it. When my best friend Jane excitedly told me her story it sounded awful. Pain and blood and...my God vaginal tearing! Gross! We had just smoked a joint so that might have added to why I was so insanely repulsed by the thought of Jane and that kid Bobb...
Version 2
4 Reviews
9 Comments
I was beginning to feel like the only virgin on earth. I wasn’t interested in sex for any other reason than to lose my virginity. Maybe that was normal, maybe that's why everyone was having sex. It seemed more likely than they actually enjoyed it. When my best friend Jane excitedly told me her story it sounded awful. Pain and blood and...my God vaginal tearing! Gross! We had just smoked a joint so that might have added to why I was so insanely repulsed by the thought of Jane and that kid Bobb...
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Reviews
This story made me really, really hungry. I really liked it. I liked how it wasn't about anything extraordinary, just an average person's morning where they happen to catch themselves feeling happy. It seemed like the woman was in the UK, but then she makes a comment about how she struggled for a seat in Corporate America. Maybe a tranplant from the UK? The only thing I didn't really like was the sentence: Okay, it was my boss. It just didn't fit. The language didn't sound the same. Why not j...
It certainly conveys a strong idea, I'm assuming abortion? Not sure if it's a memoir about your life, as you're obviously alive, but either way I really felt something from it, and then again I could be way off with the meaning.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
This was unexpected. I felt very connected to the character because I myself have an obsession with collecting blank books (as I imagine a lot of writers do). I thought you did a really good job making a metaphor out of the scenario...these blank books that she just can never fill. So much...pressure I suppose? Like any void in someone's life. I was surprised by the end though, which is always a good thing. I think it'd be better if the character displayed a bit more unstableness so her actio...
I like the character, but I didn't get whether he was always like that and the boss had finally had enough or if he was just having a crazy melt down one day. Also, what was it in the glove box? Is it suppose to be a mystery, left to the reader to decide, or did I miss some obvious clues? It's definitly funny, I'm sure everyone has had moments where they wish they could act like that at a job they hate so no doubt people could relate to this guy.
I think this story has so much potential, but it's sort of all over the place. The POV changes must be fixed and the dialogue is sloppy when Summer is on the phone with Karen, almost to the point where I have no idea who is speaking and who they are speaking of. There are things I really liked: the bus driver's character seemed familar and comforting, although I wouldn't have her consider calling him. I suppose I'm not reading Summer right but she seems a mess with men and Matt seems like a n...
100.0% Review Quality (3 Votes)
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