camckay's profile
AGE:
30
LOC: San Antonio, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 28
LOC: San Antonio, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 28
This user has not yet uploaded an urbis user description/profile.
Items
Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
Deep inside a darkness burns A chasm running deep The shadows come with the night And in my soul they seep From the empty beginning In a dark and quiet womb I live my life from day to day Trapped within this tomb In walls of dark the echoes Can’t roll aside this stone There’s nothing left but the silence As I live and die alone So I light another cigarette And drink another beer And let the shadows close in And succumb to the fear The voices come and whisper And tell me I’m alright Somewhere ...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
What diadems of pleasure be Can no longer Rescue me Voices hallow on the wind Will no longer This soul bend The smile that lifts The frown that bites I light my cigarette And sigh Thus I live to die
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
Thoughts of you begin just like A tumbling, newborn stream And fill my waking moments And my deepest dreams My thoughts of you, they grow Into a raging river That tears into my heart A leaves it there to quiver And like a mighty ocean My thoughts of you abound And free my mind adrift And my soul to drown
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
The still waters, in those eyes That blanket and enfold me I struggle, gasp and drown In that boundless sea Your secrets, they ensnare me Your mysteries drive me mad And your cruel, kind smile Tells me I’ve been had To touch the cold temptation In those lips – insane And to lose myself in the ocean I can scarce refrain
Version 1
13 Reviews
2 Comments
A map of the galaxy stretched across the screen. Ashwin leaned back in his chair, thoughtfully studying the group of stars to which his teacher was pointing. "Well, it's quite a long trip. Bit out of the way really and definitely overrated." In the back, someone giggled. Ms. Juniper frowned. She had no patience for humor, especially when a student had obviously not done his assignment. "Really, Ashwin," said Ms. Juniper. "That's very enlightening." She stared at Ashwin coldly for another seco...
[ View all items ]
Reviews
I read this poem, and at the end I am left with wondering who "she" is that is encouraging the "little dove." It feels like poem of overcoming fear, but a couple lines make it difficult to follow. "Had he been seasoned he might have succeeded" and "He laid there still no muscle to move" imply to me that he failed, but the last two lines end the poem with success. Your poem is filled with wonderful metaphors and visuals. I particularly love your third stanza. From a technical perspective, I fi...
This is probably now one of my favorite poems, especially amongst those I have read on this site. The feeling of rejection is tangible and feels real. You have an a great knack for knowing exactly where to break a line and add emphasis. My favorite line is probably "You are a match/that will not/strike/for me." Great metaphor. The one thing that throws me off is the repeated line "As if you'd only learned to walk today." I am sure others will disagree with me, but personally I think it makes ...
It's a bit hard to follow this poem at times. It feels like a song or chant, with a chorus, that has come out of perhaps a fantasy novel. If that's the case, then I think understanding the context would help quite a bit. Along those lines, I like your use of repetition in parts of the poem, starting new stanzas with strong emotions. Unfortunately, I think "Little darkened town," is a bit overdone, and doesn't convey a whole lot. The questions I would ask myself if I were editing this, are why...
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People










