cameasiam's profile

I am not going to sleep for hours but i know i will cry myself to it. There is a violent and hot storm somewhere above my stomach and below my lungs. It calms for a few moments and then it screams and screams and screams. I just want it to stop. Stop. Stop. But i get weak and it tears me apart again. And i weep and heave and scream and choke on fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of vulnerability. Fear of myself. Animal inside. Weak animal inside. I do smile again, i do laugh again and there is a r...

It is 6pm and the army trains are going by my house They are surrounded by men with rifles and helicopters are flying low above them it is scary to think so much death surrounds me i can not even express my true feelings about it i will not write what i thoght when i saw those trains i do not want to end up in an unmarked prison for my thoughts where has this country gone?? Defending our freedoms? HA THATS A LUAGH!

1 The thought of dying in a hospital bed terrifies me. I want to die climbing a mountain. I want to die underwater. To rot away in a field. Food to all glorious natures. Founded in life and forever rooted in birth. That is my dream. I want nothing more than to be one with the ground i walk upon. 2 My system is running on hot nervous air. If i could shut myself down for a bit i think i would. Its hard to walk and carry myself. I feel unfit and odd. Doors dont open very well and my tea keeps bu...

it was all gone we were lips teeth nails hair and sweat all ends were disappering scratching laughing spent we were teeth lips sweat fingernails hair tongues legs and arms All things were clouds and whistling sweat hair lips nails teeth arms wrapped around bodies around legs tongues around necks. fire fury heat release we were cunt we were cock everything soft was sweet was nerves on end were explosions pulling neck into throat into swallow into breath spinning rolling falling and laughing ch...

am afraid of being found out, for being real. That i think real things. That i feel real things. That i have real fears. That i lust after real people. I will hold on to these truths for as long as i can. I need to hide all of this so i remain in communication with others. If they knew the real me they would run, and rightly so.