carolinahermit's profile

Tricks or Treat What follows is the closest thing I have to a real life Penthouse Letter; rated “G” dagnabbit. After ten years and a million miles logged driving across the state of South Carolina this is the closest I’ve ever come to playing a role in a time-told truckers’ tale of wanton woman folklore. Every word is true. Currently I rack up 430 miles a night across the northeastern quarter of the state. Driving through farmland in the middle of the night doesn&rsqu...

Chapter One: Playing Games Her mother, having a predilection for bad boys, was dead set on naming her “Jessie” after her favorite outlaw of all time. Fortunately her father intervened, insisting on a name more befitting a lady. After a name-calling battle not fit for young ears or the medical staff present, “Josephine” was the name officially imprinted on her birth certificate. Unfortunately the middle name of “Sundance” stamped upon her was non-negotiable...

  Chapter Five   Diamonds aren’t called a girl’s best friend for nothing. These skeptical days you’re expected to spend a significant chunk of change on a lady if you’re to have any hope of impressing her at all. First impressions are everything and the fact that the show hadn’t sent Josie a limo for her ride to her first airport was definitely not a good one. Then what would you expect, there were no cameras present, other than Josie’s ancient 3...

  Chapter Four “Oslo,” to Josie it sounded more like the name a concentration camp than a destination for her dream vacation. O-S-L-O, it didn’t exactly roll off her tongue with the panache of gay Paris, or the romance of Rome, or even the loftiness of London. It sounded like something that came in a plain generic brown package, boring, drab, and about as run-of-the-mill as they come. I mean Ossssloooow, really? It just hung in the air like a dark gloomy cloud come to ...

Chapter Three The long hot hazy days of summer dragged things out considerably. The rerun season passed as slow as a dump truck caught in the rain struggling up a steep incline overflowing with dirt turned to mud as Josie waited impatiently for June 7th to bring her ultimate vacation with it. Bug-eyed she became glued to the television set since every rerun of The World on a Platter was now a potential tourist template for her to trace. With her face splattered against the screen she took no...