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cgendebien's profile
AGE:
38
LOC: New Port Richey, FL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 31
LOC: New Port Richey, FL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 31
Names Chantal, says I’m 48 but I’m actually 16. I ultimately use this website to help myself and enjoy some of the most amazing works I’ve ever read on this site. There are some exceptionally talented people out there and I can only hope to one day match their writing talents.
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BEEP! Alison’s eyes flew open as she lay on eyes on the horrible box emitting the sound of the all to joyful radio host. “Good morning ladies and gentlemen, today is a beautiful Monday morning and it is currently 6:00, now to Roy with the traffic update!” “Ugh,” she muttered as her hand quickly found the way to the snooze button. Rubbing her eyes, she rolled out of bed lazily k...
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Version 1
2 Reviews
4 Comments
Alison set her thoughts back to what she had just done. She finished unfolding the ripped paper and tried to put them back together. The ink had smeared but it was still somewhat readable. Alison pulled out her journal and copied the riddle into it, including her own notes under each line. October 28, 2003 Go past the lockers whose filth rivals all,
Okay, so I’m gonna have to pass gross filthy rotting lockers; we have a lot of those! The juniors probably have the dirtiest lockers&hell...
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Version 1
2 Reviews
1 Comment
Alison walked though the screen door stumbling over the miller lite beer cans that littered the floor. She felt beads of water roll off her skin as it seeped into the much-stained carpet. A wave of air hit the back of he legs as the door slammed behind her. “Alison you’re late, what were you doing? "Thomas barked from the living room. “I was at the library, reading, seeing as how all you can read is the TV guide”, Alison mumbled to herself. “What did...
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Version 1
3 Reviews
3 Comments
Alison was the runt in the family; a child born too small and quickly became ill-favored amung the rest. By the time she was fifteen, she was still small and ill favored, but the family figured at least now she could manage the chores of the home. Alison felt the soft carpet beneath her knees as her eyes scanned the bottom shelf of the folklore books. Her jet black hair gently fell across her pale face and she brushed it back before removing a book on the shelf. That’s when she no...
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Version 2
6 Reviews
3 Comments
She sat against the old moss covered wall, as she waited for the bell for 5th period to ring. Only 5 more minutes she thought to herself as she watched the high school kids divide into their cliques just to say hello. She laughed to herself at how immature high schoolers were and was grateful that she didn’t belong to one of the cliques-- she didn’t belong to anyone. She chuckled silently now totally oblivious to the chaos that rang around her, she was lost in her own though...
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WOWZA! I want to know does she wake up at all? I really enjoyed the beginning of the passage, you really took your time to develop the characters, even the dog. The detail to your characters I think really paid off because they are well portrayed in the chapter. It made me feel especially sympathetic to the girl and made me want to find out who the hell this man is. Also just so you know the title is exceptionally enticing. All in all great job. Keep writing because I can't wait to find out w...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
It cute...but honestly, I think I should be able to fall in love with this talented handsome writer, but him belching and farting in the elevator. Mayjor turn off. I really have to say however that the beginning was well written, when she's being used. Your going to connect well to a large audience with that piece. Anyways good luck with it. :)
This sounds like a really happy time in your life. Not sure if it's suited for most young adults, however, I'm 16 and I did enjoy it. There's not really a good story line in this to put it in a book, great excerpt though. If you do choose to go in the direction of writing a book your writing talents will definitely provide you with a great base. I can tell from your writing quality that you would have no problem catching the eye of a publisher, it will all depend on you storyline. Good luck. :)
I found it a little boring until the contract thing came up. Not sure quite if this should be under the young adult genre, then again I didn't really get a feel for the story. I'd have to read more probably. I'm 16 and I couldn't really make a connection with it yet. Although I do have to say I did enjoy your writing quality, that was very good.
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