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AGE: 42
LOC: Staten Island, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 14

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Novel Treatments / Chapter One Aquaguardians
Version 1
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CHAPTER 1—DR. CALVIN THOMAS           The fog thickened as moisture clouded the air, but there were still people on the Long Island beach. It seemed as though nothing could keep them away from the shore. Orange and yellow rafts floated with children on board; inner tubes barley able to remain afloat carried large women; beached husbands occasionally peered out at the blue-green expanse in the attempt to spot their wives. Variations of recreational activities wer...
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Novel Treatments / Chapter four--Vanessa
Version 3
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CHAPTER FOUR--VANESSA   Vanessa Viermont Brent was unaware of the beauty of the spring morning as she sat in the dark recesses of Bradley's Tavern nursing her beer. The only demonstration of the brightness of the day was the stray sunbeam which made its slow journey across the tavern floor, the dust motes dancing gaily in its radience. In the quiet, conforting darkness, however, it was perpetual evening, and Vanessa liked it that way. She sat nesled in the corner of the leather-covered b...
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Poetry / This Just In
Version 2
5 Reviews   1 Comment
Is it the way you sing as your whisper drifts through my soul Or how on the dance floor you're doing your thing stepping to every relevant beat no distraction you're at attention and you're lookin' at me as I twirl to your command you move... in close I love the way you --   Is it the way you smile 'cause the blue in your eyes is intoxicating me and suddenly I can't breathe You take my life and my need for expression to a whole new level of love I've never needed air ...
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Poetry / A Blessing
Version 2
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As time flies deeper into the night, I sit and wonder just what should I write. Something good or something bad? What I have or what I've had? I had a love that filled my heart, With tender kisses from the start. I often wonder why'd it end, A lack of love or a new found friend? It doesn't matter either way, Because my heart still hurts the same. Though days and months have led to years. To sit and think or shed more tears. Maybe one day soon I'll come around And make a smile out of a frown. ...
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Poetry / flow
Version 3
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A River Flows Even when you're not here A river flows for you. Streaming down mountain's edges, Searching for your heart. The merest thought of you, The touch of your hand, A kiss on the lips or A slight smile and a river flows. Memories of your embrace Ring like the softness of The tone in your voice when you're loving me. I close my eyes and a river flows. You touch me with your words like A poet who has found the entrance To his lover's heart. That part inside Where you can never escape. I...
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I gave your poetry-overall a 6, because no one can tell you what poetry is. Poetry is the style you create a flow with, no matter whether it rhymes or not, has a distinctive beat or not, it is what you feel, what you think, and the emotions you cause for another. I liked it, because- it is. Keep writing. Just let things flow naturally and eventually they will all begin to flow together. I was entertained. I kept reading because I wanted to know what you were going to say next. You will eventu...
Novel Treatments / Stone Soup Chapter 22
I enjoyed reading this. I now understand what that particular area looks like and I can understand just how much those who walk the land don't want to be there. It was well written and easily understood. It makes me wonder what it feels like to be there, though. Just be careful with the typos. Russians--in the following sentence. It occurred to Pabst that the Russian's would be served equally well if they numbered their villages "...well as ugly. By now, Pabst knew Diepenbrock well enough to ...
Poetry / Warm Food
I love this. I think the poetry overall was great. It stated a message and I received it. Some may read this and say things like you use the word warm too many times, but I understand. I also like this piece because I don't have an autistic child at home, but I do have a child who needs the extra explanations and the tricks done by me to get him to where I need him to be. This poem explains situations like that so perfectly. Keep writing. I can see that you put a lot of yourself into it.
Poetry / tried
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Poetry / Watch It Burn
I absolutely love this poem. I see nothing which needs correcting. What I do see, however, is how much this poem is saying. Or what I get from it. Take a breath, look around All the screams have died down You look surprised Didn’t you realize? They catch up you see, all the lies It doesn’t stay down, what you hide What do I know, I’m so inferior Must be lonely, being so superior Why be mad over things you never said These lines say so much of what I see in myself and in many of my friends. Pu...
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