chelly's profile
AGE:
36
LOC: Waynesboro, VA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 21
LOC: Waynesboro, VA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 21
Fell in love with writing when I was 10 but i let life get in the way of perfecting the craft. After all these years I am finally trying to take my writing seriously as the story possibilites keep me from sleeping.
I love reading so I love being a part of this site to read others work and have mine read and reviewed as well.
Items
Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
Empty I’ve been standing still since the day you stole my heart and ran away. I wish I could have seen the places you and my heart have been. Instead of the monotony from which I can not break free since you left this dark hole unsettled in me.
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
He sat in the big chair facing the window. The sun warmed his face and birds flew by slowly as if peeking in at him. What he saw though, I know, was not out there. His eyes were not seeing the mountains in the distance or the hustle and bustle of the crazy drivers below who took that beautiful day for granted as they made their ways to various destinations. He couldn't see the new building that had been erected across the street with all it's expensive ugliness. He couldn't see much at all. I...
Version 3
3 Reviews
3 Comments
In a small house just outside of Halcyon, a small village in a country that was barely known, lived a beautiful girl named Harmony Divine. She had hair like midnight, deep black with shades of blue and shiny like the stars. Her long lashed eyes were milk chocolate and her cherry lips were barely without a smile. Her skin had the liking of perfectly browned bread which made the villagers joke that her existence came about in her parents bread shop. Every morning, just before the sun smiled up...
Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
Once he got high he got very low called me names like, "old idiot n__r whore". Said he had an agent Well, I wish him all the luck 'Cause when he is famous, He will be F---ed. All the racist comments the degrading things he wrote to me will be the most famous of his writings When I show them off on the "Today Show" on NBC.
Version 1
3 Reviews
4 Comments
Worlds beyond imagination birthed by ink.
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Reviews
Your words convey your feelings well here and I think that there are others who can relate to this poem. "I am suffocating in this life" that line alone says alot. I think you have done pretty good with this.
First problem you have is the first sentence. "I pulled a old a faded green hardcover book from the shelves covered with gray-brownish dust collected over the years." You should probably change that too " I pulled an old faded hardcover book from the dust covered shelves. " The next sentence you can add the color witht the rest of the description. You transition from past to present tense alot. The prologue is really rough, hard to read and get into. I almost quit reading but wanted to see wh...
Sounds like a good beginning to a story. It drew me in. Made me wonder why she was outside the dr.s office. What is her purpose, problem, issue. Hope you do something with it.
I felt like I was reading a page from reader's digest. That being said I wasn't bowled over with laughter but found your piece to be interesting. It seems to be a piece that is humorous to the writer but with out examples it just doesn't fit the genre. Maybe if when you say "a vicious fight begins for space. I myself have seen 70-year-old ladies throw manners to the wind." you throw in an example of how one lost her manners.
"I don't think any words convey the wounds beneath my skin" Love all that those words convey. No one can ever know what a person feels even if they are told because pain speaks volumes to the person who is hurt that simple words can't translate. A lot of emotion here, you wrote this quite well!
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