cimak's profile

wow a really difficult style to write in with all the thees & thous its really difficult to modern readers even though i completely understand the writing as someone from that period. Which iam always impressed with perspective writings. I wonder what this poem would be like with modern language. It was hard to grasp the writers voice for a while was it male female bird i really didnt know until the lines with all the gods "Thou wouldst be the Vulcan to mine Venus, the Hesphestus to mine Aphr...

Well i hope this gets funny at some point in its continuance right now its kind of drab being mainly quoting from a horribly sexist book is that supposed to be the humorous part i dunno well as for writing as it goes it was well put together. there was a couple of misspelled words that i noticed like organ when you mentioned the organ grinder. I am not best at grammar so i cant say for sure but when you said male run relationships it seemed really odd sounding i was thinking ran would have be...

Honestly my first impression from the title & the notes was negative i thought it was gonna be a piece i wouldnt like. Yet i was fooled, i thouroughly enjoyed it i could feel the agony of depression. The emotions were displayed very well. I also enjoyed the way it was written with the form of the stanzas. Well lets see what we can look over to make this even better than what it already is. The first thing i noticed is the use of what i call filler words like &, or, of, but, .... some of these...

the first line seems to need something to go before it. was you angry when you wrote this i am not a person afraid to cuss or am i turned off with the usage of it or am i in any way a fan of censorship yet i am learning that unnecessary use of language is unattractive when i didnt doesnt add to the flavor of the piece ok now to the real critiquing the rythym of the poem is nonexistent the rhyming in the last stanza is monotonous with your using of away, away, way you didnt rhyme throughout th...