colly's profile

beautifully done. I was little thrown at the IV because I was expecting more food analogies, and it seemed propelled into the future and your past at the same time, but I love this stanza, and you tie it up very nicely in the end. The beginning invokes good imagery of pioneer times for me. the line 'this offends some seduces others' that disarmed me.

Nice dream. It seems that this is a stream of consciousness writing so it seems fragmented, lacks punctuation in spots and words are missing. Since you don't seem open to improvement my words may be lost on you. Dreams are mirrors for ourselves. It seems you need to set yourself free from restrictions and judgement, and release inside of you the love that has no boundaries, for there may be a mother of god.

amazing imagery. This sounds more like an addict with your references to nicotine and cocaine, maybe an addicted schizophrenic? This is poetry.

you write well beyond your years, You have the beat.