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contron's profile
AGE:
31
LOC: Watsonville, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 16
LOC: Watsonville, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 16
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31 Reviews
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Amityville Review Conor Sanders Staff Writer There are 3 types of horror movies being made in Hollywood right now: The I-see-dead-people-M. Night Shamaylan-Others movies. The Japanese-horror remake that turns a once good movie into an American pile of dung. And the 1970’s social satirical horror movie remade for Generation-Y. The Amityville Horror, Hollywood’s next attempt at “reinventing” a classic horror film, has all three tired formulas wrapped into one big campy gore-fest. Which can work...
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Good start. Needs some editing, but has the potential to become something. Maybe there could be a prologue to the story, to set everything up. Otherwise, this beginning has a definate potintial to become the end of a book. Good luck, but look deeper and get a proof reader.
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GREAT detail! As I'm sure you do, I hate someone pointing out typo's and grammatical errors... Luckily, I can say that they are few and far between. The only thing I can recommend is to take out a few needless words... Such as some of the so's and and's. It makes things tighter. Punchy. Don't be afraid to use fragmented sentences more. English teachers and the like might frown upon them... but some of the greatest writers love to use a one fragmented sentence as a paragraph. Not blowing smoke...
PLEASE keep writing... You're only 17 and your voice is amazing. Just don't stop... The best advice a teacher ever gave me was an English teacher who told me that when you start writing at an early age and keep at it the only way up... I started writing poetry when I was about 13. I'm 28 now, working as a journalist, and on my way to getting my first teleplay purchased... They may never make it, but if they buy it, I'll make some nice money... Which is the ultimate reward; getting paid for wh...
Loved it... It's just the kind of poetry that I'm drawn to. Just curious if these are lyrics or just a straight poem. It would work great as a song.
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Great start... I'm a huge fan of the horror/ thriller genre, and these first three chapters feel like this novella could turn into something great. The only thing I can really suggest, and no, don't worry, it's not grammar related, is that the flow of the writing clashes. You go from past tense to present tense sometimes in the same sentence. But that's fixable, as are the typo's and such. Just remember that Lydia works better as if she is there and not as if she is thinking back. Otherwise, ...
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