covert's profile

As much as I enjoy a good drunken fight, I decided to make up with the guy I said was wearing a sailor suit. He had on a full baseball uniform at some bar weeks prior to our next encounter which wound up with me apologizing and him buying me a shot of Knob Creek. This was a bad idea. He talked of sports with me for the next hour. The more he talked the more I realized we should have fought. I would have much rather had a broken nose than to have to sit through another hour of his meaningless ...

For many years now, Holidays have not lived up to the great anomaly that would pop-up when I was in my pre-teenage years. It's more of an annoyance now than anything else. The thought that there is nothing besides truck stops open tomorrow seriously gets under my skin. This is due to the idea that truck stops are disturbing to me. The only enjoyment I get out of this time of year is my annual 3 a.m. drive on the highway. Sometimes it seems as though I am the only person on the road at 3 a.m. ...

As tired as I am, I felt I should write something in regards to people who have read the dictionary as if it was meant to be read like a book... When I was in 5th grade I had a history teacher that was Jewish. When I started this grade my parents wanted me to do some summer school bullshit which Mr. Wukovitz my 5th grade history teacher offered. Mind you this is a Catholic school where my skateboarder haircut, anarchistic attitude, and collection of Misfits t-shirts never fit in. Regardless M...

“Where the fuck am I?” I stated awakening on a foul brown couch with two figures hovering over me that appeared to be cut outs from a Nascar fan magazine. “Time to go buddy” “But whats going on, how did I get here? What the fuck?” “I don’t know. Were you at another apartment?” “I was at Jeff’s? How the fuck did I get here?” Let’s just say for a moment I was your average normal working class stiff. It’s five a.m. and I am getting up for work. I walk towards the kitchen and low and behold there...

I was driving today and saw a young man with a sign around his body. He was waving a stuffed Santa Claus with his left arm. The sign had some ridiculous bible quote on it about people who worship false god's going to hell. That's a pretty heavy picture to lay on somebody that's hung over on their way to work. So I decided that if I ever have a family of my own we'll send Jesus down the chimney instead of Santa. I mean, Santa’s overweight and old. Jesus on the other hand was quite handsome wit...