creative_eve's profile
AGE:
40
LOC: North Hollywood, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 18
LOC: North Hollywood, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 18
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Version 2
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Tonight’s sunset Creamy and pink Beautiful Like a young woman’s supple bosom Seductive and mysterious Only in L.A. I was told It’s the smog that makes it so beautiful I wonder Something so destructive looks so beautiful Perhaps Destruction is beauty Like the atomic bomb Puffy clouds of radio active dusts form a perfect mushroom Like the wild forest fire Fierce flames of hot chard specks gather a magnificent sight In my own right Fantastic screams of echo of once dreams ablaz...
Version 2
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Dishes crusted furry vacuum shrieked Insomnia disguised in confident gazes mouthed Help-Me Depression EXPANDED in room shrinking <!--Session data-->
Version 2
4 Reviews
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I woke up this morning Finally accepted that you were never coming home That plastic mug with the shaving brush shelved away finally tossed Regretfully The stale popcorn and powder mashed potato on top of the fridge finally trashed Carefully I kept them as if you took an extended trip Even though You were never coming home To the shaving mug, popcorn or old powder mashed potato Mundane momentos Proof of love not willing to be forgotten Evidence of heart waiting to be mended I know you think I...
Version 3
4 Reviews
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In the box T. and I squeezed Compressed, into neat little secret Bare flesh against cold cheeks Stubby hands caressed small of the back Reaching, in silence A ritual senselessly repeated In search of a feast, hunger swallowed us whole Caving into desires unspoken Void expanded from within In pitch darkness, breathes of shallow want exchanged Hollowness of desire validated Airlessly shut in nameless regret <!--Session data-->
Version 1
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In small sips drinks of fortune and misfortune swallowed with joy Life a sweet and nasty poison, too bitter to take in all at once Yet too luscious to refuse all together Charity of forgiveness coats bits of regret along with moment of purity lingered on Wishing feelings of content existed beyond twilight Intoxication is felt long after the pain wears off To define this concoction of years past is to drink it in all over again
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Reviews
Beautiful piece. I liked the choice of words used. If anything I wish there were a little more visual descriptions of the seasons.
Nicely done. I am normally not a dragon and dagger kind of story person, but this is so well written, it's hard not to take an interest to continue to read on. I liked the inner dialogue that went on in contrast to the exterior surroundings. The ending though not unexpected it did caught me by surprise, as all along there's a sense of hope and in the end, it was the hope for a glorious death and not hope for victory. I also liked the ambiguity of the countrymen's identity as well as the reaso...
I am not sure if the format is of a true Haiku. Also since the title already indicated it was twilight, does it need to appear agin in the haiku itself?
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