cupbearer's profile

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AGE: 99
LOC: Birmingham, AL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 19

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Poetry / Miss
Version 1
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Miss lamp light in the rain on her cheek the briliant flash of her legs striding over the dark rainy pavement the brush of the sway of dreadlocks the surprise tickle of her tongue tasting my hand in the silent apartment the taste of the curve of her neck her head asleep on my shoulder her soul in my cupped hands like shimmering water or the anthem of a distant land  
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Moving is Going is Leaving fold up the tripods it’s time to go unhinge the nimbus gather up this mist it’s time to go unhook Saturn it’s time to go snare the smoke                                                   &nb...
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Version 1
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How to Read a Written Poem Out Loud don’t act as if you’re reading a poem out loud shrug off affected lilts false pauses avoid unnatural wavering falsettos or commandeering altos don’t lope along predetermined phrasing skeltonic newscaster templates don’t end statements as questions to echo a Famous Poet howl or whisper as sense dictates but be prepared to step aside and let the words speak undefiled on their own, alone in the open air, out there without you  
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Short Story / Dido's Lament
Version 1
2 Reviews   1 Comment
Dido’s Lament         It’s terrible to live as a slave. It’s awful when fear tells you not to answer the phone, or walk toward the marina, or talk to a friend. Your days are not rounded by sleep, but framed with a nameless dread that shrivels your lungs and snaps your tongue. You prodded the beach rubble with nonchalant arrogance. Now you’re on your knees in the sand.      Your filthy fingernails look like the ancient ...
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Poetry / Night Garden
Version 1
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Night Garden who can sleep with love sloshing around the skull like an ocean in a fishbowl tilting my head I tap my temple and a whole garden spills out trampling the king’s bed with flowers, and songs of flowers my body lays down in the love-in-the-mist, amaranth for pillows, jasmine for sheets, when I sleep my dreams flower into songs of flowers  
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Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Lunar Eclipses
Wow! I'm not sure if your tongue is in your cheek or not! If this rant is serious in its critique, then you might be in denial about wanting to "partake in epicurean antics" over a "thoroughly ordinary" "celestial occurrence!" Seriously, though, if you are serious, you gotta tone down the hysteric rhetoric. If, on the other hand, you are poking fun, (and either way its obvious a sense of humor is engaged), then the hyperbole of "old women" hiding under "soiled quilts in fright" is a scream. ...
Novel Treatments / Chapter One of novel BIG HEAVEN
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The poem is overall engaging and effective. Nice balance of ancient lore and contemporary language; also the alternating couplets and quatrains. Love the first couplet. I think the fourth line could be stronger with the omission of the word "lion's"; that lessens the obviousness of the double meaning without destroying it, strengthens the rhythm and enhances the hubris aspect of the word "pride." I like the freudian references, although maybe they could be more subtle? Also, there's little s...
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