cwhitsitt's profile

I think this could even go general fiction. You set the story up extremely well, your writing is solid. Great images. Great words. You have created a very believable character, multi-faceted. Charlotte is obviously wrestling with more than just her suspected powers. I easily found myself in the scene. Great showing and not telling. I like that I read right through it, wanted to read more, enjoyed it as much (if not more) than anything I've read on Urbis so far. How much of this do you have wr...

I'd love to read more. I feel like the characters are somewhat though not totally real. Aiyana seems too darned naive. Lily too dark. Maybe balance them out some. Interesting story. Like I said, I'd like to read more. I'm intrigued.

You had me right from the start. Your prose is smooth, believable, and easy to read. I thought your word choices were good and there were only a couple of spelling errors. As you finished up the story, you lost me. I wasn't crazy about the parallel to the song and it seemed to trite an ending, unless you were just trying to be satirical. I would rather have seen a more real ending. Absolution, or if the priest did question his story, I would have rather he said something in the confessional s...