cygenesis's profile

You have a nice turn of phrase. I liked "That today will be, Like every other, but like no other As every day before it" in particular. I would make a couple of changes. Embracing all it touches in its warm glow to Embracing all it touches in its glow You know it's full of heat in the following lines. But the day hasn’t begun just yet I would get rid of the just in this line, it seems redundant. But other all, this work is gently haunting and resonant. Good luck with it.

This is reminicent of the poetry of Dorothy Parker with its playfulness and undercurrent of romantic pain. If it were me, I'd make two small changes to help the flow of the peice. Other times makes you want to pout. to Other times makes you pout. But I rather go without. to But I can go without.

You have a great talent for detail. The floral and foliage that most people would not notice comes to life here. You also have a vivid and complex narrator. If I were reading this as a novel, I would certainly like to read on and know what happens next. Good luck with it.

Sorry this is so late. I've only just come across your work but I know the opportunity you are applying for is due to end today so it might not be much use. I am writing down thoughts and comments as I read. Your query letter is good, short and to the point. What is best about is that you have included: My writing credits include five short stories published in 2006 and 2007 in the literary on-line magazine, The Deepening. My short story, Treasures, was reprinted in October of 2008 by Wrong W...