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Erik was what would be known – in the future – to be . . . the Phantom of the Opera. But for then, he was just a boy. A boy with a musical talent so extraordinary he could make grown men cry like small children. Not only that, but he was a child prodigy. A genius, if you will. There was no talent – besides self control – that he did not posses. And, though he did not know, he certainly possessed the power to enchant. Especially the women. Erik paid no attention to girls. That had been decided...
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So, you think James had green eyes and glasses, do you? Well, I can certainly tell you otherwise. Actually, his eyes were more of a greenish-brown, and his glasses were only for reading. His hair – contrary to popular belief, did not stick up in the back, but in fact, was relatively near – save for after a Quidditch match, in which he played Chaser. So now that you know the real James Potter – a wealthy, charming, prankster – I can begin the story. James Potter was the type of boy who always ...
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Alyssa sat by the lake, bare feet dipped in the water. The water was calm and warm, in other words…perfect. She swung her feet back and forth in the water, sighing softly as she glanced up at the sky. Dark clouds were beginning to form above her. She smiled and whispered, “Looks like rain.” She was quite fond of rain. It was refreshing. And at this time of year, it was pretty warm. It was the beginning of the school year, and it was still was outside. Alyssa, or AJ as some called her, was new...
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Katherine sung the words softly, bitterly, beautifully. She was definitely a singer, or at least it was her favorite hobbies. (She had many, too many to name.) It was something she did when she was sad, lonely, or depressed. She was all three at the moment. Kat, as her “friends” called her, stood outside in the cold air, arms wrapped around herself, attempting to shield her soft, pale skin from the stinging wind. It didn’t work very well; she was still very cold. She didn’t care though. It di...
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Are you miserable? Would you like a friend? Do you often feel depressed and lonely? Do you spend every waking moment wishing for someone to share your pain with? Do you wish you had a lover? Is your life a failure? Well, welcome to James' world. Coincidentally, it was the sound of the rain that put him to sleep. It was the silence, however, that woke him. All he could hear was the sound of running water. In a sickly moment of dark surprise, he made the discovery that he could not open his eye...
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"I had my mouth sewn shut early on in my life." Excellent lead. I didn't even have to go further to know that I wanted to. This was a strong opening that kept me reading. I felt the emotion and the passion in this piece of writing, and I loved it. I think the only thing I could ask for out of this piece would be a little more about what was in the 'black baloon'. Other than that, this was great.
This was so funny. Two thumbs way WAY up. Very humorous. How did you come up with this? Your goal - just for laughs - was definitely reached here. Very very very funny. It was entertaining, short, and to the point. towards the beginning, though it is a little confusing about why you're writing it. That was cleared up towards the end. "Old Faithful; The Classic!" This got a laugh before I even read the description. You should definitely write more pieces like this.
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This piece was a bit strange. You did keep me interested by making it so we don't relaly understand what's going on, but I never really felt an emotion in this writing. Why are you telling us this? Why did you write this chapter? What do you want us to take from this? You should really think about this when you write. WHY should people read your writing? What does it have to do with the rest of your story? Let us know through the words you use. Maybe think about grammar a little bit more. You...
This was a great story. The detail was good and the wording got the point across perfectly. It's a good story, it's got good wording, good characters, and a good setting. Awesome lingo, all the way through, and you really kept the pace up. Also, I got a great laugh from this line ... “Did you flash your wad this morning?" His ears did a beet impression. “I only did that that one time and it was a dare. I never did it again, honest!" Very funny. Great story. =)
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