This is a really powerful piece. For real, it was very well written and had an idea that I've never seen before in a story. If I'm right, I'm seeing that showing your love means you take bites from your lover. The less skin the more love. If so, that's an amazing concept. Great job thinking up that. I think the thing that you did best was the description you used. It was spot on and really made everything easy to picture. Your word choices were very good and made things seem less repetitive a...

This is really strong and really good writing. You have a great flow with your words and and awesome way of describing things. I loved how you made everything so real. You took into account everything that needed to be in a civilization and put your own spin on it. I could actually see a world like this by the way you showed it to me. Good job with that. I'm not sure what you're looking to hear but I think that this could be a great novel if you run with the idea. All it needs is a plot and c...

It's unique to say the least. I'm not sure how I feel about it though. The picture is clear enough but I don't think that it's much of flash fiction. Maybe it's more of a random splurge of the mind. Finding out that the thing was writer's block was cool but I guess I got lost when you mention that he can keep going with creativity. It isn't the writer's block that goes on but rather something different. Or someone. Beyond that, it was a cool idea just filed in the wrong spot I beleive. A good...

I actually really liked this. You alluded to so much and made me want to get behind that door and see exactly what The End was all about. Good stuff here. I especially enjoyed the rules you laid out. Cpngrats on hooking me in.

Great job with this. It's not much of a short story I think but as a character study like you said it works wonderfully. I was confused at first but once I figured out that he has OCD it all clicked. You really seemed to capture the essence of the disease well. I'm not sure how it really is but from things I've seen it seems like numbers a huge part of their life. I liked the fact that you repeated things a lot too. I can see people going back over things they did just to make them right. Sol...

Some minor gripes: "He turned to find blood pouring like a tipped water pail out of the body on the sidewalk ten feet from him." - you should separate "like a tipped water pail" from the rest of the sentence and then it will read more smoothly and make more sense. "The chest looks flimsier than a living chest does." - Not sure how much I like this comparison. "The legs’ bones are shattered and take no rigid leg-shape at all anymore." - I don't prefer "at all anymore" honestly. I don't think y...

I could see this being sung at a table at a children's summer camp to be honest. It has that kind of feel to it I suppose. I like the way you did this. As for your punctuation, as asked, I think you did good the way it is. I've seen poems that have been punctuated and those that haven't. The way you did it here was easy for me to read and allowed me to breathe where I needed to. I'm not sure how to change it but I think this line could use a rework for some reason. "The peanut butter caught t...

It was very informative about the subject at hand yet read kind of bland to me. I understand that it is non-fiction and to me, non-fiction is slow, but I felt that it could have used more to carry to idea itself. I do like the way you refer to these black orbs, I beleive I have seen these before when I stand up really quickly after laying down or sitting. Another thing I disliked though is the way you did the sentence where you said "...is all I know" and then picked up the next sentence "but...

I'm going to break this down as I read it. With that said, I found the first line to be dry. I know it gives some explanation but I think you should make it into more of a hook that makes the reader more intrigued. Luckily for you, the dialouge afterward makes up for this and brings the reader into the story. I myself do quick-fire dialouge with line after line figuring the reader knows who's speaking. I like that. You do good in teasing us with the idea of stating that in some way/shape/form...