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danmchue's profile
AGE:
18
LOC: Cleveland, OH
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 06
LOC: Cleveland, OH
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 06
For the most part, I prefer someone gets to know the real me through conversation and exploration. If what you read in any of my stories or poems does not give you a feel for how passionate and serious I am about what I love doing (writing if you are the slow to catch on) then by all means stop reading. I pour my heart and soul into everything I do. I hope to someday be a multi-book, author, poet, and writer of all trades. I have no specialty…but I feel my poetry and lyrical expression is riding highly most recently. I have about 3 potential novels I have been working on…none are finished. I will strive towards that in the meantime. Any and all friends are welcome…agents and publishers are warmly greeted with internet handshak…
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I used to write in Pencil When my Words were insecure- When Erasers were my saving grace And Replacements were the cure. I used to have a problem with Commitments blocked and door'd; By looking through my windowed heart The Freedoms were ensured. I used to be, though now I've changed, A cautious, careful soul. I used to have, though now it's gone, An empty, loveless hole. Before I grabbed a pen And Gave courage to my words, I prayed my pages would leave the ground And by Ink my h...
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The Spirit Separation "I'm heading out." Gabriel called out to Elmer. His hand twisted the doorknob slowly, his mind drifted back to Grizz. He couldn't help wonder if he were all right. The sun hid behind the clouds of gray as the breeze blew through the trees, making their branches sway back and forth. Gabriel's feet sink slightly into the grass of the front yard, the tension lasts only a moment on his knees as he begins to jog down the street. The smell of the Carson family barbecue makes h...
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The Protector of Africa “Come with me,” Doctor Sammy calls to Gabriel as he leads him outside into the world, “I would like to show you something.” Gabriel eagerly follows Doctor Sammy outside and is met by a strong wind that seems to howl through the windows of the village houses. “Whoa!” Gabriel shouts. “What happened out here?” Gabriel and Doctor Sammy look around the village, from each of the fallen tree branches to the window shutters lying battered on the hard dirt. The winds that came ...
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From the Shadows of Darkness The clouds split and swooshed around the first class charter plane. The sun blazed in the August sky. From the engines of the plane, a loud roaring blast could be heard from the ground below. The tips of the wings shifted with the current of the wind as the pilot maintained balance. Inside the plane the anxious passengers sat, each with their own occupancy of time—the middle-aged woman who was struggling to find her inner-self, who found comfort in reapplying make...
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The Greatest Fear From the kitchen, Doctor Sammy walks into the living room towards Gabriel who lay on the floor face down, clutching the sword from the mantle. “Gabriel,” He says, as he nudges him with his hands. Kneeling besides Gabriel, Doctor Sammy removes a flask from his side, and pulls off the cork top that sealed the opening. With his fingers he gently parts Gabriel’s lips, and very slowly and carefully, he pours three drops from the flask into Gabriel’s mouth. They drip slowly, catch...
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For starters, the narrative voice of this piece seems unfitting for the title. If this was an attempt to show the annoyed, penny-pinching side of a parent/grandparent who had to take their young ones to "the place where dreams come true", I think the voice fits (although it needs refining). some of your descriptions don't have the flow necessary for the story's success, "swelling multitudes of munchkins" for instance creates a vivid image, while "characters were everywhere and little street p...
this sounds like a very interesting story. i personally would love to hear more about this plot line. it seems that you dove right into a very real possibility. i don't know if it is just me, but i think that you should throw in something about global warming being the reason why the microbe is released. it just seems right. i know you already wrote the book and all, but you should definitely keep that in mind in your series. i mean like after you solve the case with the arms of ares thing an...
right from the beginning, you seemed to have lost the descriptive edge. i know that you are trying to go for that edgy feel, and suspense, but when you draw out the scene and make it a scene as a whole--rather than expanding every single moment to create that--outside of time terror--you only hurt the suspense of the piece. i haven't read the first chapter, but i will say that the beginning needs to be reworked. try it from a different point of view (i read the one guy's review and agree) jus...
i enjoyed this story. you have captured the thrilling and exciting parts of storm chasing. I would have enjoyed it more however, if you would have focused more on developing the relationship between Jared and Alyssa. I was unsure if they were brother and sister, or dating. I did however find it easy to continue reading, as you seemed to capture every last detail of the moment. great job, especially the focus on their breathing and heartbeat, as well as having the characters come to life by fr...
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