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danmchue's profile
AGE:
17
LOC: Cleveland, OH
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 27
LOC: Cleveland, OH
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 27
i first want to say that i am an aspiring author and writer who has never been published before. that is the sole reason why i am here, to find an agent/publisher who enjoys my work and will help me on my road to success. I intend to make many friends along the way and to share my faith, thoughts, and passion with anyone who is interested. I am 17 and will be for a few more months. I live in Cleveland, OH, not the best place for an aspiring author, but nevertheless, i still have the drive and determination to succeed. I appreciate all feedback from anyone who is willing to offer up their credible knowledge. I don’t want just another sugar-coated response like “It was good. the best ever.” unless you truly mean it. be real with me, but d…
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The Spirit Separation "I'm heading out." Gabriel called out to Elmer. His hand twisted the doorknob slowly, his mind drifted back to Grizz. He couldn't help wonder if he were all right. The sun hid behind the clouds of gray as the breeze blew through the trees, making their branches sway back and forth. Gabriel's feet sink slightly into the grass of the front yard, the tension lasts only a moment on his knees as he begins to jog down the street. The smell of the Carson family barbecue makes h...
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The Protector of Africa “Come with me,” Doctor Sammy calls to Gabriel as he leads him outside into the world, “I would like to show you something.” Gabriel eagerly follows Doctor Sammy outside and is met by a strong wind that seems to howl through the windows of the village houses. “Whoa!” Gabriel shouts. “What happened out here?” Gabriel and Doctor Sammy look around the village, from each of the fallen tree branches to the window shutters lying battered on the hard dirt. The winds that came ...
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From the Shadows of Darkness The clouds split and swooshed around the first class charter plane. The sun blazed in the August sky. From the engines of the plane, a loud roaring blast could be heard from the ground below. The tips of the wings shifted with the current of the wind as the pilot maintained balance. Inside the plane the anxious passengers sat, each with their own occupancy of time—the middle-aged woman who was struggling to find her inner-self, who found comfort in reapplying make...
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The Greatest Fear From the kitchen, Doctor Sammy walks into the living room towards Gabriel who lay on the floor face down, clutching the sword from the mantle. “Gabriel,” He says, as he nudges him with his hands. Kneeling besides Gabriel, Doctor Sammy removes a flask from his side, and pulls off the cork top that sealed the opening. With his fingers he gently parts Gabriel’s lips, and very slowly and carefully, he pours three drops from the flask into Gabriel’s mouth. They drip slowly, catch...
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The Spirit Wraith Silence. Deathly silence. Nothing filled the air around Gabriel as he plunged into darkness. His body lay motionless on the grass in a world unknown. The cold, hard stare that glazed over his eyes showed the lifeless embodiment of his flesh-like shell of a body. While his body lay on the grass, cold and lifeless, Gabriel’s spirit fell deeper and deeper into darkness. Falling through an endless sea of black, his spirit could not grasp even the rocks that fell beside him. The ...
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this sounds like a very interesting story. i personally would love to hear more about this plot line. it seems that you dove right into a very real possibility. i don't know if it is just me, but i think that you should throw in something about global warming being the reason why the microbe is released. it just seems right. i know you already wrote the book and all, but you should definitely keep that in mind in your series. i mean like after you solve the case with the arms of ares thing an...
right from the beginning, you seemed to have lost the descriptive edge. i know that you are trying to go for that edgy feel, and suspense, but when you draw out the scene and make it a scene as a whole--rather than expanding every single moment to create that--outside of time terror--you only hurt the suspense of the piece. i haven't read the first chapter, but i will say that the beginning needs to be reworked. try it from a different point of view (i read the one guy's review and agree) jus...
i enjoyed this story. you have captured the thrilling and exciting parts of storm chasing. I would have enjoyed it more however, if you would have focused more on developing the relationship between Jared and Alyssa. I was unsure if they were brother and sister, or dating. I did however find it easy to continue reading, as you seemed to capture every last detail of the moment. great job, especially the focus on their breathing and heartbeat, as well as having the characters come to life by fr...
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