This is a very good start to what could be a longer short story or novel. There's no character description or development to speak of, so that should be incorporated in a longer version. I really like some of the details, such as the looting and the smell of unidentified burning meat. I'd like to see a longer version of this. It really has potential.

This is an interesting piece. The idea of several people being trapped in a room is nothing new, but you've done a nice job of demonstrating the fear and claustrophobia of such a situation. The only real problem I have is with the ending. If this is intended to be a prologue to a longer piece, then it's fine. Otherwise, I don't think it resolves anything. There are too many dangling threads. Why did the creature not kill the narrator? Why did the creature leave? I'm a fan of ambiguity, but th...

This is a very interesting glimpse at a relationship. Between the dialogue and the narrator's descriptions, we can see hints of a considerable past (good and bad) between the two characters. The dialogue says much more than just the words. I especially like "French tragedy makes you want steak." Great line. I'd like to see this expanded into a full story, because it's well written and I want to know more about these two.

I really like this story. The descriptions of the mortal wound and its effects on the man's body are very well done. Nice twist at the end, but not entirely unexpected. I would like to see this expanded into a longer story.

This is a good start for a story. The first sentence draws the reader in. You do a nice job of describing her emotional state and the reasons behind it. One nitpicky thing: I'm not sure about the word "chickenshit." Not that I don't like the word, but I'm not sure it works well here (especially twice).

Some very nice descriptions here, especially of the planet and the spacecraft. The ending seems a bit of a letdown after the increasingly dramatic buildup of the craft's approach. Overall, I'd say you have some very good language skills that I'd like to see in service of a stronger plot.

I really like this story. It's so descriptive of a young woman who's unsure of herself and indecisive and damaged. To me, this woman is a fascinating enigma. I'm not sure why she's so damaged, but it's very interesting to try to figure her out (being a guy, I'm sure I couldn't). You put in just the right amount of detail about her past to give the reader an idea of who she is , but not so much that she's completely explained. "I hide my phone in my underwear drawer sometimes. That way I don’t...

This is a well-written piece, for the most part. Nicely descriptive of this woman's emotions, and just enough detail about her life (past and present) to give the reader an idea of who she is, but still leaving some mystery. However, the ending ruined it. I'm not a fan of religious propaganda. But you do have some writing skills, so keep it up.

This is a good start. Very good descriptions and imagery. There are a couple of small issues. "Which had been the only part of the house left standing after the fire." Sometimes sentence fragments work, but I don't think this one does. Also, the description of the child being killed is in present tense, while the rest of the story is past tense. This doesn't make sense and disrupts the flow. Otherwise, very nicely done. I look forward to reading more from you.

Very funny stuff. I like the tweaking of various old (and new) religions. It's funny to see a god who feels himself rather useless. The story flows very well with plenty of jokes along the way. I especially like "designed on a post-it note." That's a great line. I'd like to read more of your stuff.