darkleaper's profile
AGE:
28
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 10
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 10
hi lets just get down to it like , i’ve been wrighting poetry on myspace for a while and havent recieved all that much feedback , i recently started to write this online book james and the wolf moon to see how much response i would get so far i recieve around 20 hits a day on myspace but thats it and not many people comment , so im a bit unsure how its being taken , i decideed to join a group and found this site instead which is ace , if anyone wants to checkout my poetry on myspace , my url is http://www.myspace.com/darkleaper
ps im 100% genuin and just want to get some feedback on my work , cheers for reeding this
kieron
Items
Version 1
6 Reviews
0 Comments
THIS IS THE NEW REWRITTEN,SPELLCHECKED AND RE-PUNCTUATED VERSION OF JAMES AND THE WOLF MOON THIS ONE SHOULD BE ALOT EASYER TO READ THEN THE LAST AS THE LAST EVEN CONFUSED ME AND I WROTE IT LOL, HAVE FUN THIS ONE SHOULD BE A GOOD LAUGH PLUS A GOOD STORY. CHEERS..KIERON JAMES ANDE THE WOLF MOON PROLAUGE As greatness filled his once futile mind, them eyes looked out on to a vast wilderness of torment, the creatures that had, inhabited this vast wilderness, of broken souls and mess's of hysteria,...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
5 Reviews
0 Comments
As the tombs they arose around him and how his mind was deep and his heart was beating through an iron class chest of infinity .The war beneath his feet the thundering of the ground as hundreds of thousands still battle on to the death with every tribute of there souls in inclusion of warriors victorious grace. He stood there the ground on were he stood shuddered, the happenings of the last minuet made shore that all whom were present within a one hundred yard area had fled the scene and fort...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
They intend to rock on lilly pads all day, without being bothered at all. But I will say and tell you straight there heading for a water fall. So the frogs they sit, rocked to and fro hoping for the swaying to stop. Although they hope the shadow comes, there heading for a drop Oh frogs dear frogs if lilly pads had only been on dry land. Your days would be full of sleeping and laying, oh wouldn't that be grand. It seams dear frogs for lilly pads have been placed on water. That you dear frogs s...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 2
4 Reviews
1 Comment
"masters of misfortune are masters of life"
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
a battle deep and throught through time spent in relation , the blades of argument they scare , they brush in time as they do. this time of sound and motion this time felt only by two that boding in ones ocean happens to very few his body sings with beauty her body to with love and as they both embrase it a kiss is all it takes , your poem captures a moment of two which seems heartfelt , a time spent and then loved of which is at a end of a night to a morning waiting on a kiss, realy liked th...
oh such a balance this butterfly has to fend of , on the midnight breeze to us, torrent to itself ,in the shadow of the great white moon, high in a beautiful cherry blossom tree flaps she as she sits watching the world go by, it such a delicate place to be, a butterfly in a tree.
i like the catch 22 scenario within the first two lines of this quote just a suggestion ,in the last line would it not be good to say ,I'll biuld a bridge rather then i build a bridge or was the term i build a bridge what you intended for a more potent outlook on the sentence.
how well observed yes they fit snugly together and make perfect scene as in a situation when things are not what they seem it always good to watch look and listen at the side of the crowd to get a feeling for the situation and your silence makes the surrounding easier to understand as you take all what the room or place has to offer in first before acting on your instincts , i think you may have created a new saying my old china. and to also be a haiku, i take my hate of to you your a genius.
Reading the second chapter and then the prologue, I had no idea this had anything to do with vampires and I have to say that innocence as it where, for knowledge while Reading the second chapter entreaged me to find out more about the story. May I suggest that the prologue would do well to be introduced at a later time, I would say to you to some how work the prologue in to the third chapter and as i have said the not knowing when reading the second chapter makes you want to find out more, be...
[ View all reviews ]
