dave_hooke's profile
AGE:
36
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: February 01
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: February 01
I try to write things you will find interesting to read.
Items
Version 1
8 Reviews
9 Comments
Rocks. Rocks. Rocks... These rocks were something once. These rocks were part of something – A great...building. Remember... Those rocks... those rocks were the... Sydney Opera House. These rocks are soaked in voices. Songs. These rocks drank songs. These dry rocks are dripping wet, overflowing, soaking... Absolutely flooded with songs. I will squeeze the songs from the rocks. I will open my mouth and let the songs pour forth. I am the first artist. And I shall start by eating rocks. ...
Version 1
23 Reviews
8 Comments
Hieronymus was bored. Even the paperweight wanted more. Dandruff slept upon his head, The office desk absorbed a snore. A paper clip Has a use. The sheet of figures called a truce All parties welcomed the solution And were still. The aged useless fly Fat as an inksplat Ceased to irritate, struggle And fell into the bin. "If I were to jump Would it be a sin? A hurtling cosmic lump Through the Universe Or a mess of human junk. I might land on a dog And the owner might sue : I’d lose my job..." ...
Version 1
14 Reviews
5 Comments
I’ve jumped out of cars doing eighty; Although the speed’s been coming down lately. I’ve entered burning buildings, Saved sacks disguised as children, Fallen down wells, Jumped off hotels, Been shot down in a plane, Thrown out of a train. – Always for someone else. I’ve had 300 fractures, 200 stitches, a million scratches and a set of dentures. I’ve been battered to bits, exploded, corroded scattered, splattered, shattered thumped, bumped , punched crashed , smashed, whacked All my work...
Version 1
7 Reviews
11 Comments
there are places so densely populated that by half midnight all the house lights porch lights flats and street lights make it look like five am some summer at dawn which triggers an explosion in ten thousand bird brains and they all start singing a little too soon, a trifle uncertain in their song perhaps but they persevere till dawn itself when they burst forth with greater gusto relieved and reassured that they were right all along.
Version 1
14 Reviews
4 Comments
I hope he uses his talent rather than wearing it. He needs to be less of a poet and more helpful. He needs to be more vulnerable. He needs to be less cool; He needs less polish and more dirt. Sometimes it’s the right time to be awful. I hope he doesn’t give thought to being good, great or immortal. I hope he sees the flaws in the 'I' cons ; The feathered vanity of poetic cocks pandering to "popularity". I hope he sees how they sacrificed some of their heart for the "abstract aesthetics" of fa...
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Reviews
The problem with using "ing" to end every line of a poem is that it makes the piece rather dull sounding to read. I don't think the repetition works at all. Besides, I don't think there is a single verb that can't have "ing" tagged onto the end of it... all you are doing is converting every verb you use to a noun, or more precisely, a "gerund" The technique is something that anyone could do, so there is no real skill involved. Plus you are simply adding redundancy to your poem. Eg "Peacefulne...
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The sense of a "somersault" doesn't really come over in the poem. The sun "falling" and the narrator's head "turning back" don't really it make it a somersault, so the title detracts from the unity of the piece rather than adding anything. This is a colourful description, but it doesn't present anything to set either the mind or heart racing. It's just a few colours of a sunset. Incidentally - a typo, I think : should be "gives" on the last line. The main problem with the poem, I would say is...
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The best thing about this poem is it has some form. Apart from that, the piece makes statements that I already know. I know that if I was someone's friend , then I wouldn't hate them. I know we would hang out. In short, this piece doesn't present anything more than some rather shallow statements. It might mean something to the person who wrote it, but I don't know them. Nor do I know the friend. As a reader, I'm looking for something that is news, not someone's private diary entry (which is w...
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There's some powerful imagery here, eg the toothpick and the stomping boots. Yet, the piece seems to become rather random in the last two and a half stanzas. I never saw the film, nor have I experienced the watching of it. So "the nude classroom" and "the winning ticket" seem rather random to me. Rather a list of arbitrary images, without an index. I'm lost at "library". Some nice pictures, but the piece doesn't seem to lead to any interesting conclusion and tails off, for me personally, in t...
This is a nicely put together sketch of a winter night, but I find it rather lacking in creativity. For example, the first stanza seems to me as if it could be an unremarkable sentence from a short story or novel. bq. When the short days of winter came, and the initial half-light fell, we came to the houses. There's nothing very original in the grammar or vocabulary here ("half-light" is the most interesting word and that's commonplace enough - and used by Yeats in "He wishes for the cloths o...
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