davek's profile
AGE:
39
LOC: Makinen, MN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: March 25
LOC: Makinen, MN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: March 25
Hey --- at this point in the game, i am no longer inclined to believe that i can be a successful writer. i do, however, believe that i can be a good person, a caring father, a loving partner. i like autumn walks, a good cup of coffee; music when it’s hard and skin when it’s soft. An electrician by trade, a writer in my soul…
Items
Version 1
11 Reviews
8 Comments
...you never know who – or what – is watching over you… 2: VICTOR AND THE WAY OF THINGS Of course, I had been human once. And male, so it follows (or perhaps precedes) that I was a human boy-child, but memories of those earliest living times are hazy at best, half- grasped feelings of another time, another life. Suffice it to say that, being an emotional manifestation and looking back to those times, it seems I was a happy child. At any rate, I was in my fourth decade of life when I was 'foun...
Version 3
7 Reviews
9 Comments
Walls. Walls everywhere. Leonard made a face, a sour grimace that could have meant anything from good-natured humor to pain. The weathered wrinkles of his face deepened and his thin lips formed a hard, white line. Walls. What good were they, anyway? The one that stood before Leonard’s wheelchair was plain: a flat, featureless expanse of sheetrock, freshly painted a creamy off-white that reminded him of the vulgar tapioca pudding they served at lunchtime. There was no border at its uppermost r...
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Reviews
You've got me hooked! This is some good writing. You mention in your notes that you would like input on formatting; what you've posted here looks good. i'm wondering if you mean how best to go about posting a novel-length piece, in which case i'd say post one or two chapters at a time - and keep each individual posting short. It's easier on the eyes and the attention span. This piece is technically breathtaking. Your sentence structure and spacing is perfect, and there are no glaring grammati...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Fake boobs and all, huh? That's funny. Seems to me you've written this little piece of sickness to counter all teh hype over Paris... Pretty good story you got yourself here, especially for a first timer. Your pacing is dead-on and the characterization is decent for so short a piece - i found i despised the girl right from the get-go, so yo did your job there. i found some stuff in here you might want to consider fixing up: Check your tenses! - you move back and forth in here between present ...
Hi, eddy. Thought i should return the favor, so here goes... First off, i like the 'noir' feel you establish from the get-go. It's interesting when put into a future context like this --- a reader gets the feeling that pretty much anything can happen. "Allergic reaction'? Ha! From a technical standpoint, this seems pretty well put together; you don't have oodles of misspelled words in here, or glaring grammatical errors. There's very little to fault, but i did find a thing or two you might wa...
Good writing, this. Your description of the scarred arm was detailed and disturbing. i worry that a person could do such a thing to themselves, and revel in the talent it takes to convey the idea. Technically, this story is pretty solid. Sentence structure is decent, the spacing is tight and appropriate, and there weren't any glaring misspellings. i found this, though: 'As my problems grew worse, so did my addiction: I could accumulate a hundred cuts in less than a month, some leaving scars s...
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