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AGE:
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LOC: College Station, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 29
LOC: College Station, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 29
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Version 2
3 Reviews
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Chapter 1 The rule of thumb for walking directly next to a stranger is about 15 steps. You don’t want to invade their personal space without actually having conversation, it just seems weird. However, if you slow down or speed up too much, it would be rude. If you wait too long, the walk becomes awkward. So I have 15 steps to think of something to say. Something witty that will make her smile. Two paces in front of me she hurries from class, trying to escape the dreary weather as quickly as p...
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Version 1
9 Reviews
0 Comments
Copyright © by David Chesney, 2006. All Rights reserved The rule of thumb for walking directly next to a stranger is about 15 steps. You don’t want to invade their personal space without actually having conversation, it just seems weird. However, if you slow down or speed up too much, it would be rude. If you wait too long, the walk becomes awkward. So I have 15 steps to think of something to say. Something witty that will make her smile. Two paces in front of me she hurries from class, tryin...
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This is an entertaining story. I would like to see what happens directly after the incident, maybe the next day at school. The students make fun of him rather than praise him. I do like the ending though. It shows that it is just hard to change who you are in high school.
First off, I went back and read the previous chapter, unable to review it. I guess that should tell you that your novel is holding my interest. The morning jog was entertaining. It was funny to see that part from Damien's perspective. I hope you intend to continue to allow readers to see his thoughts on the seemingly odd things Lacey does. I told you in the first chapter review that the book was a tough sell, but your writing style and sense of humor is wonderful.
The concept is a tough sell. I think readers generally want some sort of explination as to how time travel occured. With that said, the book did hold my interest. The items Lacy thought to be of upmost important for such a journey was amuzing. However, in order to attract an agent or a publisher, I would suggest spicing up the intro. Maybe make Lacy have a more memorable way of leaving 2007, perhaps either a sweet memory for her mother or the two parting on bad terms.
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This is very different from ordinary poetry. The ray emotion, the sadness i suppose i would charactirize it, is powerful. poetry on the subject of a miscarraige im sure is womewhat lacking. I think the flow of the poem depicts exactly what you are trying to.
I find this piece to be raw with emotion. I like the flow of it and it reminds me of relationships previously encountered.
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