dbear22's profile

dbear22 avatar
AGE: 34
LOC: El Dorado Hills, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 07

My poems are simple and old school they all tell a story. its funny i hated writing in school but now i enjoy it. I am sure its obvious i have never had any training and am not much good at it but you know what…...fuck it i do it anyway.

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Reviewer Stats
Items
Poetry / Half
Version 1
16 Reviews   11 Comments
Like the groove in a pulley her shoulders are worn, She wants to be noticed for her granite eyes, her Maui smile, and her ability to laugh. She desires to reduce what others increase her fears of disappointment by taking away his trophy are climbing like the profit on an Exxon graph she enters the white room in nothing but a cloth a cold chill makes the headlights shine bright the butcher is wearing a grin as he tends to his staff he shows up late worried and full of love the words he constr...
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Poetry / Vagrant
Version 6
5 Reviews   2 Comments
VAGRANT I hear the birds sing The sound of the tide My stomach is rumbling in a way I have died I’ve known this addiction For far too long It’s weakening my bones They used to be strong Now all I have are legs that are sore A belly that is empty And skin that is torn On this beach I’m alone Down under this pier I wonder if she sees me dying At the spot we held so near For years I have been away Embarrassed and ashamed Feeding my dependence With only myself to blame I wasn’t a good husband I l...
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Poetry / Destruction
Version 1
6 Reviews   1 Comment
Destruction The taste in your mouth is metallic and dull You’ll wonder when your eyes close why you let me take your soul With every sip you become the one that you detest All you have to show for this life is a soul depressed While hateful, murderous thoughts fill your mind tonight I can’t help but to be amused by your pathetic plight So continue to swallow this liquid hell Neglect your family, your life, your health as well Feed you hunger its what you do best Numb your mind and fuck the re...
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Poetry / Bittersweet
Version 1
6 Reviews   1 Comment
BITTERSWEET I am sitting here scared with my hands and feet bound Seeing my wife cry but not hearing a sound I wonder how I got here my lucks never been good But I don’t believe I deserve to die like a killer should This morning I hugged my children one last time And whispered to them all that I would be fine For the last time I shook my friends hand as he told me to fight But I said it was over, that this was my plight For 10 long years I have wondered why The man got on the stand and told t...
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Poetry / Saviour
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
SAVIOUR Rest your head my friend The wounds will mend No doubts of my love On me you can depend I know I am not perfect Out here portraying neglect, But you are my best friend Without you I am wrecked I may not always show it For I am a scarred man But I live for your love This is who I am I draw from your soul When I’m heading downhill Thoughts of your warm smile Keep me from a deadly spill I came to you broken And I continue to fight But with you now beside me Through the tunnel I see light...
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Reviews
I liked this but I am not sure of the use of the word "changelings" I dont think it fits with the overall vibe of the piece
I can relate I thought this was very good. I love it when a writer can put their feelings bluntly on paper I totally can feel the emotion and strain of the author good stuff
I liked this very much the 5th stanza i thought, needed to be revised but overall this is the type of stuff i enjoy reading where the author just lets it hang out there nice work
Poetry / Overwhelmed
this was good I love the darkness and and the mood of this poem I would like to see a little better structure instead of each line being a different sentence but overall nice job
Non-fiction / Dwelling on the past
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