destined2bgreat's profile
AGE:
40
LOC: Killeen, TX
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 11
LOC: Killeen, TX
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 11
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Items
Version 1
15 Reviews
7 Comments
When we first started talking it was innocent enough. I always listened,I never had anything more important or exciting to say, so I didn’t monopolize the conversation. I was never rude by, cutting in, yawning, falling asleep or walking off in the middle of a sentence no matter how long these talks lasted. It was simple, you see, when someone needs a shoulder to cry on or an ear to hear, it can be like an antibiotic to a seething infection. So for this season, I was not only a best friend but...
Version 1
6 Reviews
9 Comments
URBIS is your biz, It's what you do. But there are charlatans that don't really want truthful reviews. They make jokes out of pen wars to hide and distract, sincere pen warriors whom they often attack. Shadowing the write title that needs some luck to get paid, for talents and skills that multitudes display. Practice, practice, practice! Read, read, read! Please don't be disgruntled by less favored critiques. There are millions of readers from different cultural walks, when some don't see you...
Version 3
4 Reviews
1 Comment
He said I was a "disappointment" to him. That stung like a welt, I started to fire Right back with "you're a failure yourself!" But I couldn’t, the word boggled me so. How can that label apply to me? Immediately I accessed my minds view master, quickly clicking through scenes, usually reserved for more pleasant memory matters. Maybe the answer has always dwelled here, cleverly hiding in the shadows of my dark, never cherished fears. Desperately I climbed the walls through the matter, to recal...
Version 3
5 Reviews
2 Comments
Traveling that golden path to the place where angels dwell, reaching a single star over and over again. Camouflage gains easy entrance in to foreign lines, crossed with fear and anticipation. After which, at the eastern star, the capitol to be exact,emerged a transition, which stampeded upon the vows we made. Apparently loneliness was not enough reason to join forces with another southern state. That lone star yet again draws me near, I longed for the angels to sing sweet songs of hope, and g...
Version 3
4 Reviews
4 Comments
As Is There was only one made, there is no salvage yard to replace parts. There are no returns. Priceless does NOT, sum it up! Value is dependent upon the customer’s commitment to excellence. Does not come with a silencer and is not compatible to any either. No warranty, already guaranteed for life. No changes are alterations can be made. Do not remove tag! "I am what I am, and that's all that I am!" -Popeye- Enjoy your new product.
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Reviews
I would love to see this as a movie I just know it would be hillarious! This is very unique, we've seen the gay transform the straight into well dressed men or into great women disguises, but never the gay into the gayest! so funny. I love the way you've established the lingo especially the M of Hi "philosophy" I think you meant "no its not" after well dressed, tan, and clean. I read the M of Hi but reviews were turned off, however in each piece you have effectively uncurtained the personalit...
I initially had a hard time knowing how to critique this because there is definitely some intense imagery and metaphors. I figured out that it was because the entire poem is completely cluttered with great alliteration and metaphors, yet is missing the imagery that could bring clarity to the piece. Without imagery it is hard for the reader to know what they should be feeling or visualizing. I favorited this to see if any revisions are done.
You seem to have a very commercial style and classical wisdom. This is so powerful, the imagery and emotions it evokes, i felt like i was the speaker, a parapalegic and elderly, cold, alone, and delusional as if slipping into insanity, great job! I felt the double words play in this sentence was highly effective: "Through a crack, I see a shadow dancing, dancing, underneath a pale, pale, moon" Only recommendation I have is "Yet there is a smoothness of her PAGE 2 OF 2long legs.." should this ...
Very titillating and sensous, depending on where one believes the skin is at on the body. Where I imagined it made me hot. this is erotica haiku with great imagery to create such feelings in so few words great job, I favorited it!
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
When reading it out loud I sounded like I had an authentic australian accent, that was fun and very entertaining! My only recommendation would be to make a few of them clearer because some may have a hard time figuring it out like the third line would be more comprehensive if it were: who us... instead of who as.
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