dianegermano's profile
AGE:
52
LOC: LA, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: February 19
LOC: LA, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: February 19
Less is always more. Remember, watch those adverbs.
Fiction allows us dialogue. Attribution of it is crucial. It tests your character, your plot and above all your imagination.
Items
Version 5
1 Review
2 Comments
Michael Stanson stared at the small, color Sony television in his dingy room at the Hollywood Motor Motel on Sunset Boulevard. The couple upstairs was fighting again. They started early tonight. It always began with load obscenities, usually in Spanish and Russian. Their rows had progressed to violence in the three months he'd been living in this dive. Seven years of writing on a hit TV crime drama came with a rented house in Beverly Hills and a huge salary Mike was only to eager to spend. Th...
Version 1
2 Reviews
1 Comment
Always on the outside looking in.
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
Beware, over analysis leads to paralysis.
Version 2
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Do you remember when and where you first met Cinderella? That question fetches many answers in 21st century America. But, two problems arise. Many Americans are perpetuating their own cultural myths, because they are immigrants from other cultures. Another complication to the original fairy tale is technology; whether you first became aware of her from television, in one of the Disney theme parks around the world or in a video game. In that respect, she becomes life imitating magic. Some chil...
Version 1
9 Reviews
2 Comments
Do you remember when and where you first met Cinderella? That question fetches many answers in 21st century America. But, two problems arise. Many Americans are perpetuating their own cultural myths, simply because they are immigrants here from other cultures. Another complication to the original fairy tale is technology, whether you first became aware of her from television, in the one of the Disney theme parks around the world or in a video game. In that respect, she becomes life imitating ...
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Reviews
Yes, your story has substance and is intriquing. I understand you do not wish to discuss editing, but, your story would be much more readable. That said, do what you feel is necessary to tap your talent. I feel that's what you need to do right now, don't apologize. You are on the right path -- you begin the story with the necessary immediacy, sparing us from a run on intro. I would like to see you continue with your character's dilemma! Don't be afraid to expand this piece, I believe you can ...
I'm not taking it back, this piece is an incredible. At first, confused as to who your detached character is, speaking in first person — I found myself questioning what is this person doing in the midst of this wonderfully painted gruesome scene. He admits he knows nothing about medical procedure, yet your contribution of the genitals was foreshadowing of what, I was not sure. I was riveted from start to finish. All my questions answered by your last sentence. (Now amended.) You are not writi...
This piece is an incredible. At first, confused as to who your detached character, speaking in first person -- I found myself questioning what is this person doing in the midst of this wonderfully painted gruesome scene. He admits he knows nothing about medical procedure, yet your contribution of the genitals was foreshadowing of what, I was not sure. I was riveted from start to finish. All my questions answered by your last sentence. "I just have time for a quick glance," may read a bit bett...
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