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dickybow's profile
AGE:
55
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 16
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 16
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Version 1
7 Reviews
1 Comment
I had been seeing Meinir for just over twelve months before she told me about the ‘summer of death.’ It was August 2005, and even North Wales was sunny and bright. It was the hottest summer I’d seen in a long while, and before that day at Nant Gwrtheyrn it had been one of the happiest. I was finishing up my PhD and Meinir only ever worked part time as a veterinary nurse when I knew her. So we had plenty of free time, and we spent most of it taking day trips or long, long weekends away. From o...
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?"Long ago, when the streets were still cobblestone and littered with the rats infested with fleas and disease roamed freer than the people" This is a really nice opening line, the personification of disease sets the tone wonderfully. The rest of the piece follows in this tone, with rich language that sometimes borders onto purple prose "the courtesans who poured the scents in rivets down their suckled necks." You should be careful not to get too carried away with overwrought descriptions at ...
Since we don't know the girl he tries to kill, or her former connection to Kashin, we do not know the scale of the crime may be about to commit against his own heart, is she the love of his life, his daughter, a servant or a stranger? Our ignorance of this decidedly reduces the power this scene could have. Is this a critical choice for Kashin? There's a slight problem with this in that we don't actually know what kind of person he was in life. I understand this will be revealed as the story g...
This opened with a great hook "When I considered why, I didn’t immediately remember the statistic" - what is the statistic? Wanting to find out kept me reading. When we got to "My first thoughts involved entering at night. I had heard horrible stories like that, the poor girls..." things took a more sinister turn, and the story became very uncomfortable. When it becomes clear the narrator is talking about rape the story does become a whole lot less appealing, and I questioned the 95% statisti...
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