loved it all. dont change a thing

Hmmm the end was definitely a surprise. I think you could of left out the family history and added more interesting tidbits about Elena. But the whole thing kept my attention from beginning to end.

It didnt really hold my attention, but all the vocab you used id put a vision in my mind, so good job!

as i read this poem the box shifted in my mind; symbolically to a person hollowed out, divulging all her secrets to a special someone, and then literally to a box, able to be opened or locked depending on the person wanting whats private. it seems like thats what you were trying to convey, so good job! i read it over and over again and never got bored reading in between the lines, it seemed like a new meaning popped out each time. beginning to end--i never got bored and trust me, its hard to ...

I liked this poem and i understood its message. My only suggestion would be to use more descriptive words so that they'll send out more of a picture to the reader. The poem deals with a great amount of emotions that a lot of people can relate to, it definitely has the potential to move people.

I want more! You definitely kept my attention through out the entire thing. I liked the build up you gave in the beginning and how you casually mentioned Pep's new side job. Everything flowed really nicely. Theres nothing that I could see you needed to change. Haha don't be offended by this but have you ever thought about writing stuff for literotica.com??

I enjoyed your poem but Im not sure if I would have understood the meaning if I had not known that it was about lovers separated by time and distance. But knowing that the poem reached out to that universal feeling of waiting for destiny to unwind its course. Everyone can relate to this.

A nice and clear writing, with an obvious message, but on what authority? At eighteen years one has barely learned to use the mind, how can one leash the mind if one doesn't know how to control it, in whichever way control is seen as.

Overall everything was clear and easy to read, although I had trouble with the last few sentences of the 2nd paragraph. It was a little hard to understand and find its relevance. I could see all of your arguments, and the closing sentence was agreed with the whole. As a smoker (I bet you are too), I think you gave pretty truthful arguments to all the haters of MJ. But since you have a platform to advocate for it, why not add to this part: "Unfortunately, teenagers don’t necessarily know when ...