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diyannie's profile
AGE:
22
LOC: Maspeth, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 18
LOC: Maspeth, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 18
I live in NYC, born and raised in Queens. College student, third year, creative writing, and philosophy. I want to do the peace corps after i graduate, and then go to journalism school.
I can handle blunt critiques, I’m not going to message you explaining to you why your opinions are wrong. I so want my career to be writing, and would appriciate reviews that keep this in mind, instead of judging it as a hobby.
-Diane
http://www.myspace.com/8266963
Items
Version 1
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Recorded and stored in the metal file cabinet she obsessively maintained was; all she had, all that she would ever have to show for her self, the tiny bit of the universe that she comprehended, found coherent, formulated theories with, could interpret real meaning from, managed to grasp some sort of control over, the miniscule bit that was not fleeting. The ends of Susanna’s index and middle fingers wafted outlines of the manila folders’ edges, as she mentally audited the information typed an...
Version 2
5 Reviews
1 Comment
Susanna pushed the shopping cart down the frozen food aisle, and stopped to pick up the last ingredient on her list. She opened the freezer door, and heard Mrs. Gurdy’s high pitched gossip rant roll down the aisle. She was a round woman that Susanna frequently pictured rolling around town spewing out the ongoings of everyone’s boring lives, never stopping to actually live one of her own. “Is that Susanna? My god, she looks so unkempt, and so thin, my God, didn’t she…” Mrs. Gurdy lowered her v...
Version 1
3 Reviews
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SOCRATES WAS SAID TO RARELY BATHE I knew someone that based his final thesis for his Political Science Master’s degree with the assertion that, “Everything is Everything.” He was required to prove this thesis statement verbally to the head faculty of the NYU Political Science department, and they were not impressed. However, after backing them into a corner every time they disputed his statement, they passed him. I understand why the professors who have obviously already come to realize that ...
Version 3
5 Reviews
3 Comments
Susanna opened the medicine cabinet’s three mirrors just enough to be able to look at herself without making direct eye contact. She tugged at her skin, ran her finger down her profile, pushed her eyebrows up to produce wrinkles on her forehead, and caught a glance at her reflection in the mirror hung behind her. She moved her shoulders and noticed the various ways the bones jutted out, until her eyes finally met her own. Her hands grasped the cornered edges of the sink; leaning down so forc...
Version 10
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Sociopath Strut Encompassed in smoke, my friends and I in an alley a stones throw from school scatter our seeds on cement cultivate what we think is real. Within earshot is the track team’s frivolous... five mile warm-up sprint, drowned out by our critiques of grafitti thrown upon garage doors. My tag if ever sprayed or written would have been a fuchsia-“Puff,” Undecipherable names of the unsettled the unmarked, the forever unknown. We know now, anarchy isn’t “happening.” At my locker, a sni...
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Reviews
You have something pretty interesting here, but it needs more. I love your style. It is reallly unique, and has the same quality that i have given up on trying to have in my writing. Its a very innate thing inside of you that allows for you to do stream of consciousness this well. I am not sure how much you are into poetry, or if you are just dabbling in the different genres. But i sense that you are capable of writing some very intrigueing and interesting short stories with the same styl you...
This poem did not keep my interested for very long. Instead of writing a poem about an emotion, perhaps try writing about the event, or random series of events that evoked this pain. The more specific you get with the details of these events, the easier it will be for the reader to just feel the pain your taling about hear with empathy and by relating. Good Luck. Good writing overall though
This is great. i wasnt bored at all. I think that you dont need the repitition of the word proud though. It has a lot of feeling words perhaps use an ab format of the lines that are abstract, which you pulled off well by the way, with lines of specific concrete images. I am interested in what the narrarator is saying here, and i want to know my about him/her.
I think that you did a nice job with the details, very specific. I think that you should try to make it a little more choppier though. It is definitely a well developed poem so far though. Good job
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