I'm not sure of the point of the exercise here if it is already a published work, but I will give my opinion of what I read. I took on board what you said in your forenote so the use of jargon didn't bother me although I thought there was a lot of it. But in the context of what the story is, it is appropriate. You paint a good scene. I was able to develop a good picture of events in my mind. I enjoyed the build up and the action scene was good. The only criticism I have is that I was unable t...

I thought this was an excellent piece of writing. The imagery is fantastic and laced with clever analogies. I did notice some typos, especially early on, but it doesn't detract from the work. I think you are very talented. Shane O'Neill

I read very little poetry but this was good. I liked it. I'm sure it would sound even better read aloud by the author.

Sweet :-)

Well the article covers a lot, but looks to me more of an advert for iUniverse than an attempt to promote Steve Campbell's book. The book sounds interesting to me and I'd have liked to know some more about it as opposed to hearing where the editorial staff at iUniverse gained their experience. The book would interest me and looks very good on the surface. I wonder why Steve Campbell didn't hold out for a contract with a mainstream publishing house, as opposed to iUniverse who, in truth, are m...

I really loved this piece and found it very easy and pleasurable to read. It was an excellent introduction to a story and a very clever piece of writing. Some people are sure to criticise repetitive language or the overuse of names, but anyone who reads this can see the writer is intelligent and did so deliberately, and therefore it would be improper to do so. I identified and empathised with Rod almost at once and enjoyed his relationship with Diane, with memories of something similar from m...

I have a few observations about this piece. Of the two time frames I enjoyed much more the opening in Los Angeles in 2000. There is repetitive language, which you may or may not want to work on....but it was certainly the most interesting of the two. I like the character Sabra Raine and will be interested to see how you develop her. For this story to work I think you need us to fall in love with her character, and to be able to embrace her dark side, knowing it wasn't her choice to be this wa...

What on earth is this meant to be? Someone please tell me.

I want to start this by going to the very end of the piece. That last line packed a real punch, and brought clarity to the whole story. About halfway through I was beginning to loathe this character, and the cruelness of her jokes. So, all in all, it was very clever and very very good. I liked this a lot. It is well written too, though there is an occasional typo through the text. It's never nice when this is pointed out, but they are there. However, it didn't detract from the story. Very goo...

I enjoyed what there was of this piece. I only wish it could have been longer. It flows well and you paint a very vivid picture with your excellent use of language and descriptions. I only wish it was longer.