Your very own critique is correct. Why submit this for a review then? There is writing talent there, but "a morning in the life" has to have some life. Next time, be fully awake when you write (or study, read, or view porn on the internet) you'll get much more out of it, and so will we. Keep trying. Good luck.

Sounds too familiar, like plagerized. But, the structure, form, flow, and rhythm are all good, so I guess a B+, if it's original.

A fair effort. Good structure. conveys imagery and feeling. But some of the phrasing does not work well. Particularly the transition from one paragraph to the next that is a continuation of a previous line: "...splinters hide... the wounds" should not be separated like that unless the entire piece follows suit. It feels like a distraction. Still a nice try. Keep up the good work.

Form, flow and rhythm are OK, and work well. It just seems like I heard it before. Not original. Does that mean it's too "generic" or plagerized? I'm not sure. Still overall, assuming the best, it works as a limerick and is acceptable. Limerick writing talent is there.

Line 3 and 4 need work, they do not flow well. Overall a good effort, but also a weak punch-line. Lots of potential. Re-write it.

Overall rating is OK. It works as a limerick, except for ther first two lines. For proper rhythm, you need to remove one syllable from the first line, or add one to the second line. Still very acceptable. Good punch-line.

Just OK. It is written fair enough, but, I think the main problem is the category in which you placed it. I did not see any humor or satire. Placed in another category, I would probably give it a higher rating.

Very nice. What happened with the break in the middle? Was that a computer "Copy/paste" glitch? Otherwise it works well and (would have) flowed smoothly. It's real basic and a bit "young-ish", but certainly has it place in children poetry. good job overall.

Not REAL bad, but, being in the Humor/satire category, it lacks both... I did not see the satire, and I did not laugh, sorry. I sympathize with the plight of the author, but because it is in this category, I must take away marks for lack of satire, and lack of punch-line. It has potential. Please re-work it to fit the category, or just move it to another category where it will get a better review, I'm sure. Good luck.

This piece is fair overall. I liked it personally, but it only fits half the category. Satire. It was not funny enough to make me laugh. And it also lacked a good punch at the end. I was a bit predictable. For all its short-comings, I gave it a high overall rating, but that's because I don't like asians. (Ha, just kidding) good job, keep at it.