dreamcatcher has no favorites yet.
dreamcatcher's profile
AGE:
24
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 27
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 27
not a clue what to say here…so bear with me. i am a student and full time mum, finally starting a degree. my two big ‘me time’ things to do are watch movies and read, and i like to pretend that it isn’t that i am not discerning but that my tastes are varied. every now and then i get the urge to write; i sit down and something just flows onto the page. it isnt something i have worked at, which i think will become obvious to you, but it is something i would like to be better at as a hobby; something to find gratification in that isn’t academic or to do with teaching someone to count to twenty :)
i do not think that i will post second or third versions of things on here; once they are amended i would prefer to keep them private i th…
(more)Items
Version 1
9 Reviews
9 Comments
She smiled at me. It was coy. Playful. It was the smile that reminded me of all the reasons she was the girl of my dreams. Her eyes roved over my face from over the rim of her black glasses. They devoured me. She looked away, her mouth twisting into a sheepish grin, her cheeks flushing as though she had applied her rouge in the dark. She seemed suddenly not the vixen of moments before, now a child caught in a forbidden act. And this, I knew, was how she saw me. That loving me was a forbidden ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
26 Reviews
5 Comments
The pain ebbs away as the fix is pumped through my eager veins. The ecstasy reaches my brain in small waves, that momentarily I will feel nothing but blissful ignorance and numbness. And maybe then you will be banished from my mind, at least while the noxious substance has a hold over my senses. That I can forget your betrayal. The painful academia is washed away first, the swimming quotes and tangents on the current socio political climate. The feminist rage ebbs away next, and the worries o...
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
I think that with the aggressive nature of this you are immediately going to alienate your reader, that they will become affronted immediately and not really read what you have to say. my first point would be that you do not have a second point, my second would be that you need to check your grammar a little more carefully; 'first on' isn't a correct phrase in English, 'first off' would be though. if you are going for something satirical, poking fun at yourself then you need to make this a li...
i have to say this left me feeling a little lost, so in that sense i suppose it works as the narrator appears to be lost and despairing. i wasn't sure what you were trying to say here exactly. it seems to me a good foundation for a longer piece that does not have to explain everything, but that gives us a little more to sink our teeth into.
i thought as a diary piece this was wonderful, a very unique style that shows you to be writing very personally. it is a nice snapshot of a moment where so many things run through your mind, and how you dare to think of none of them; just to let it be what it is.
i very much enjoyed your style of writing here, and felt that it flowed smoothly; in the manner that the protagonist's thoughts do perhaps; a soft lilting into the next paragraph. one word stood out to me as i read it in the line "The younger people of the bunch would most likely been baffled that such a thing could happen to their lively, healthy selves" the word bunch seemed out of place with the style, perhaps because of my own literary preferances it irked me a little. i have to say thoug...
i really enjoyed the almost happy requiem that this shows, and agreed wholeheartedly with your conclusion. the sentimentality of realising that they had not been negatively affected by time can sometimes be patronising and trite, but here it felt natural; apt to the situation and the voice of the author. i loved the line 'fire blooming above our heads' in relation to the fireworks; fantastic imagery, that keeps the childlike innocence of viewing the world.
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People
