dreamingjaguar's profile
AGE:
26
LOC: NY, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 29
LOC: NY, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 29
I am 24 and just returned to NYC after living in Taipei, Taiwan for 2 years. I have been writing poetry ever since I was 5 under the guidance of my mother. I graduated from Barnard College, Columbia University in 2004 with a B.A. in English, minor in Religion. Throughout my time in Taipei, I read my poetry at open mic nights and received numerous positive responses. For over a year I have been writing a book of poetry with my own photography included. Lately, I have been working on short stories about my funny adventures in Taiwan and that is what I am hoping to receive the most feedback on now.
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I climbed upon the mountain and it led me to your door. Before I started knocking I replaced my face of gore. I cannot let you see me or it will remind of past, When daily suffocation caused our love to never last. Such lack of loving breathing has now crushed my languid lungs. I tried to catch your breath before we crashed against our tongues. The fight to keep my movement forward to the mountaintop-- a struggle for my life when from the side I almost drop. A movement swiftly thrust aside, i...
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Moth Balls The infamous Christmas package from Great Aunt Helen had arrived and I was not thrilled to open it. At age 17, I already knew what to expect from my Aunt: flea market leftovers that probably cost her $1.00 each. The box lay on the dining room table like a centerpiece that should never be disturbed—yet I knew my mother was going to allow me to do the honors. Before I even used the scissors to score the boxing tape, I almost smelled the strong scent of mothballs. “Mom! Can we air thi...
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A week or two after Alexa joined, a fellow teacher brought her up in our weekly staff meeting. Supposedly, a handful of members had complained about her behavior. Alexa was asking some inappropriate questions during our Chit Chat Corners. Chit Chat Corner was great because members could talk about anything they wanted since there was no pre-scheduled topic. It was held on the couches in our lounge area and it was a very popular activity with our members. Alexa began using the corners to acqui...
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Right before the summer months at Chit Chat, we promoted a special 3-month membership to cater to students. This was also a good time for adult members to join and try out our services before becoming a member for a full-year. One memorable member in particular that summer was a socially inept woman who innocently stirred up a lot of trouble at our club. It was an extremely hot day in June. Taiwan gets so hot that you start sweating the minute you walk outside the door, forcing you to walk in...
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In order to have the full “ex-pat experience in Taiwan” you need: 1. A job teaching English (must have a class with bad 11-13 year olds who ask you if you have male or female organs in Chinese). 2. Move at least once--and it must be a new apartment that is walking distance from the first. 3. Have a landlord who speaks no English. I was lucky enough to have all three happen to me within my first year in Taipei. My first landlord was at least 60 years old and spoke English fluently surprisingly...
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It would be nice to have a bit more description throughout the story as to what the scenery looks like and the character's appearance. For example, what do the monstors look like? Also, you didn't meantion Spinoza's name until late in the story even though she was mentioned early on--that was a litle confusing. Maybe this is just a continuation from an earlier submission so that's why you didn't say it earlier... It was hard for me to really have an image in my head of what was going on. I n...
I love your poem! This is the first poem I've read on here so far that incorporates the Urbis network and it's done well. Your first stanza rhymes beautifully and gives off the sound of typing through your diction. I would suggest adding a question mark at the end of the first stanza and maybe a period after "not out sauntering" to separate the two thoughts/actions. In this line, "the tea kettle is black burnt" I would suggest either adding a comma "the tea kettle is black, burnt" for more em...
this poem reminded me of Virginia Woolf's novel "To The Lighthouse" because you talk about the waves and time--two themes in the novel. I was a little confused after reading the first stanza: Remembering when, one day we will stare at the water because, We are old And all the time will wash over our feet. only because the words "Remembering when" made me think that this already happened but then it sounds like it hasn't happened yet. here's hoping you'll still have hair for the wind! =)
The rhyming scheme that Poe uses in his poem--was it, "Lenore"--is fun to copy, and you prove it with your poem about. It's interesting that you go from having a simple meal that leads into a struggle between man and nature (reminds me of Miss Mary Muffett and the spider), which ends with the realization that you are alone. I think the rhyming structure could be tightened a little bit in some places, but you do a good job with its limitations while still being able to be descriptive. I think ...
This poem is short and sweet. I like nature poems and yours is nice but one thing confused me. In the beginning you state: "Autumn''s mellow twilight" and then at the end of the poem you say: "as the diminishing sunglight..." So is this poem describing the course of a few days as Autumn leads into Winter? I had assumed you were just describing a night that was leading into the morning. I think you could add a little more punctuation to make the poem stronger. For example: "that falls on clust...
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