drtd's profile

I really like this piece and how ambiguous it is. I have been reading lots of writing with the theme of war/soldiers/fighting. Not surprising given the political climate but this is the first piece that I have read that is timeless and not event specific. I really enjoy how you have created the feel of primal emotion and how closely related all primal emotions are. My only criticism is that I would like it more if the line that reads "we’ll kill or die" where changed to reflect "paradox" of s...

I was happy to hear this is a rough draft. There are so many wonderful little gems in this poem. I love the way it is structured and how it looks on the page. Your writing style and word chooses are intelligent and interesting. However I found this very awkward to read and that made it hard to get through the piece. Even after reading it several times I had a hard time finding the rhythm or flow of this poem. Knowing this is a rough draft I'd say what you have to work with is great and I look...

I usually try to read the poetry I review without reading the "notes" if the author has included them. I do this because it is really hard for me to remain interested in writing that I have already been told will suck. So my very first comment to you is if you include notes with your writing maybe it would be helpful if you did not use those notes to critique yourself. I think that it is fair to say that most writer are very unhappy with their work at one time or another. For myself that is w...

This is a really powerful piece. I especially like the last 6 lines. I only have one comments. The line "A chilling voice, a chuckle of thunder", I love the image this creates but I wish you had used another word besides "chuckle". Certainly this is just a matter of preference but "chuckle" strikes me as being too lighthearted for this piece an I would imagine Death's laugh to be more sinister then a chuckle. Just a thought though.