eagerlot's profile

“I just drove right through the damn beauty pageant,” bragged Grandad in his tough-guy voice. After 25 years with the Ft. Wayne Police force, he knew how to sound intimidating. “Chairs were in the way so I drove slowly to knock ‘em down as I drove. The colored people jumped up an waived their arms and yelled ‘Gawd almighty,’ but I had my .38 under the seat in case I needed to enlighten them.” A smile crept across his weathered face. “Served ‘em right, settin up a beauty pageant in the middle ...

“I just drove right through the beauty pageant,” bragged Bob in his tough-guy voice. After 25 years with the Ft. Wayne Police force, Bob knew how to sound intimidating. “Chairs were in the way so I drove slowly to knock ‘em down as I drove. The colored people jumped up an waived their arms and yelled ‘Gawd almighty,’ but I had my .38 under the seat in case I needed to enlighten them.” A smile crept across his weathered face. “Served ‘em right, settin up a beauty pageant in the middle of the d...

Once upon a time there was a mean farmer who was very poor. All he owned was a pig, a hen, and a sheep. He was hungry and went out to the barnyard to choose an animal to eat that night. Carrying a big, sharp axe, the farmer walked toward the hen. As the pig saw the farmer approaching the hen, he ran over and whispered a plan in the hen’s ear. When the farmer arrived with the axe, the hen said “Please don’t kill me. I am a magic hen, and if you kill me, you will be cursed for life.” “How are y...

“I’m retiring,” Curtis said dejectedly. “I’m sick and tired of being treated like dirt. After all these years working like crazy to make them money, I’m fifty-four and it’s time to move on. Do something fun. Something I like.” His voice drifted off. Curtis looked up at John. A long string of drool hung from John’s mouth like a stage rope attached to his collar continuing down to his gown. His eyes were clouded over from cataracts that had built up from years of being in the sun without sun gl...