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effervescentpsyche's profile

AGE: 24
LOC: Toledo, OH
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 23

I have a stone reflection, I live in the what might have beens. Everyday gives me another reason not to continue. I am one of the Wretched.

Nothing ever turns out the way I want it to. I feel like no one knows what it feels like, wish they could know what it feels like. The only way for them to know though is to be like me. I feel like I’m stuck in a hole, can’t believe my life is actually like this.

Everytime I try to make things good, I’m back at the beginning. I can no longer pretend, only waiting for the day that I am free. This world has rejected me and threw me away without never really giving me a chance. They are lucky I don’t have super powers or I would make this whole world pay.

Can’t wait till the end of the ear…

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Items

Version 1

0 Reviews 0 Comments

I sit and ponder the meaning of dreams. Do they even mean anything at all? There are so many dream websites and dream dictionaries insisting that your dream means something…or your dreams are telling you something. I just started reading Sigmund Freud’s interpretation of dreams…and of course he believes dreams are all related to sex. Even though I don’t believe that every single dream is related to sex, there is something I do believe about what he says. That everyth...

Journal, Diary, & Blogging - Overall

Version 1

1 Review 5 Comments

My name address, phone, and other info will be placed here. Dear (inserting Agent’s name here): Sometimes you can not choose who you fall in love with. Sometimes every fiber of your being tells you that a person is completely wrong for you and you try to run from it. This is exactly what Arella goes through and she slowly starts to learn that even the darkest things have the brightest light hidden within. I am seeking representation for my 84,340 word young adult novel, Holy War, an ac...

Query Letter - Overall

Version 1

0 Reviews 0 Comments

Light up your face, So they will never know, That you are nothing more then a broken, worn out little soul. You try so hard to hide, That you are completely dead inside. You push all the good feelings aside, You do it all with barely a sigh. How sad and pathetic it is to be you, You have absolutely nothing to pursue. Yet you want no one to feel sorry for you. You make your blood burn, When are you going to return To the person you used to be, The person you were before you met me? You let m...

Poetry - Overall

Version 1

0 Reviews 0 Comments

I went crazy again, something is wrong within. I want it all to end, I'm tired of being at this dead end. I think every night what would make me smile, what could make me content. Everything I try just leads to pain at the end. I feel so unloved, so ill at ease, I don't want a hug, please just beat me. Please let my blood flow through the cracks. Please bruise my bones and make my skin turn black. Yes, I am sick, No, I'm not sane But I don't give a shit, life is just a game. I am so tired of ...

Poetry - Overall

Version 1

1 Review 0 Comments

I’m smiling, You’re holding me, You say you only live for me. No matter what we keep smiling, Everyone looks at us like we’re freak shows coming out to play. Dancing in the rain in the middle of the streets, All the horns beeping behind you and me. We just keep dancing to the rhythm of the thunder; No one can distract me. *Chorus* Why did you say goodbye? Why did you walk out of my life? I’m not listening to those lies, I need something else to get me through this...

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Reviews

by KidTruth

First word that comes to mind for me is perfect. I really think yoru first paragraph is going to be a huge hook for any agent. They want people who have been published and I think them seeing that right off the bat is going to make them want to read the next sections. Very smart to put in a comparison, that way they know what to expect and they get a better idea of who you are targetting. I think you're going to have no problem at all getting an agent. Probably first 3 agents you apply for yo...

by Wondering_Hazel_Eyes

Your letter is right down to the point. You feel emotion in your piece which I believe is very important. It's something that very relevant right now, there a lot more people going green and caring about our enviornment, I think you're article will hit the spot!

by Dexus

I think you should get rid of the second sentance. I really don't think it's important for an agent to know, you don't want them to even think that they won't be connected to the main character. It kind of makes it sound like you doubt your novel. Whoever told you to get rid of the trilogy gave you bad advice, I think it's a good idea because that means you're serious and you have more then one book completed, which would impress an agent. I read an article an interview of one of the top agen...

by MisterP

"Young Winston with generous pinches of Bond and Bean." This sentance doesn't make sense to me, I'm not sure if the agent would get it either. Not exactly sure if it was just worded incorrectly. I would just say that it is a fiction novel, not a fiction and fact novel. I would also suggest taking out "Taking the reader there" Just keep it about your novel, if you go back to saying it's just a story it kind of loses the flow that you have going. Agents usually like to have an about me section ...

by Dexus

I really thought your query letter was great. The only thing I would suggest is taking out in this story...for some reason that really took away from the query letter for me. I think expand the story line just a little bit more you were talking about Secile and then the next second there was a jump to Kaia-mei. A query letter can be 1-2 pages long...if they are both big characters maybe have one paragraph about Secile and then one about Kaia-mei.

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