emoisamusic's profile
AGE:
14
LOC: Allentown, PA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 02
LOC: Allentown, PA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 02
My real name is Charlene.
That has no meaning to me, for i have several altering egos, and this Charlene person is literally nothing but a name.
Name.
I hate that word.
An amateur would be a word to describe me- but I am not. i am a dedicated poet, an aunt, a sister, but a girl with a provoking story.
now, about those “egos”
i am Janice.
She is a fiestly lively alcoholic. She is thin with breasts that seem out of piorportion to her body. She is very self conceice but concided. She is a people person, although most times she rather be sitting under the oak tree at her park, scribbling madly in her book of thoughts.
Pale
crazy
flirtatious
blonde
i am isabel
she is the quiet girl with many nose piercing and snakebites.
...
Items
Version 1
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Thousands of lost souls link together desperately trying to find one with similar qualities, yet none realizing they are lost, that no one is a fit, that they are a piece without a puzzle.
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I was never really a nice person. So in my reviews and comments, I wasn't nice. Just looking back at people that tried to help me, I didn't knowhat true help was. So I got defensive, trying to scare others away. This goes to the people I got angry with when I claimed they were "gobbling up my credits" I'm sorry. This goes out to my.. mean-spirited reviews. I'm a critic- I'm sorry. I hope everyone can forgive me as I return on a clean slate.
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Chapter Four She could feel his eyes on her, burning a hole in her cheek. Out of the corner of her eye, Janice glanced at him. He was staring at her; not even trying to hide it. It was really awkward. When she first swung open the heavy car door, the boy sitting in the backseat was drumming along on his lap to the heavy metal song that played in the background. His head down, his sleek auburn hair swinging and covering his face as he nodded to the rhythm. But now, even as the song was playin...
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Chapter Three Janice buttoned her black top, adrenaline being the only reason she wasn’t on the floor gasping for air. As she hiked up her plaid miniskirt, she looked back at Chris and let a small smirk curve the corners of her mouth. She felt able. After pulling on her shining red boots, she walked over to the worn, wooden door. She pulled at her short sleeves, chills going down her spine as the AC boots on next to the bed. Janice pushed her fingers against her forehead, tiny throbs all over...
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Part 1: The Story Chapter Two The room the man put her in was so hot and steamy; her golden blonde hair was plastered to her forehead. She glanced at the monster that slept at her side, thankful her arms weren’t tied on the bedpost anymore- but still tied together. “I’ve been waiting all my life for this…” She shuddered remembering the gruesome night she played again and again in her mind. Her eyes watered and she buried her face in hands. Was the horrid rapist, the evil one whose heavy head ...
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Reviews
This is an interesting poem, which seems to go from one character to another in a matter of sentences. What I really enjoyed reading in your poem is how the entire thing flows so eloquently and easily sliding into a new topic. However, my only suggestion being is the last sentence seems a little out of the aura you get reading it. It is abrupt, and maybe using "around the bush" terms, would be easier for the audience to understand. But I know it is your poem, therefore I feel no need to draw ...
first off, i would ilke to give out kudos for your boldness about your... well, disclaimer, in a sense. it shows that you have a vision, and you are not letting other critiques mess it up- that's the kind of attitude true authors should thrive at and admire. one thing though, i think you should take out a few of the ranking things-- they all seem to be saying the same thing. its frustrating. now, unto the story. i like how the first conversation with carla, it was very realistic, but what i t...
Ah. First of all- you spelled dreaming wrong. And there is no "y" in sometImes. replace the y with an i. Overall, this was an okay poem. I couldn't really pay much attention to the content, because the grammar was poor. But by what I read, It was very nice. I think it would be very much appropriate and actually needed if you described his smile, how it makes you feel, other than making you want to smile. The little details really make a difference. Good luck!
66.6667% Review Quality (3 Votes)
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