emolove13's profile
AGE:
15
LOC: Natchez, MS
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 14
LOC: Natchez, MS
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 14
hello my name is Diane and i will show all who doubt me that i will not stop and will not give up and i will show everyone that age can not limit or tame the mind and my mind will wander and all will be opened to me my goal is to become world wide known as a poet and artist auther and actress at a young age maybe in my teens or 20’s i will defeat all who challenge me and show no love or compashoin to those who judge me unfairly i love to be critisized but not before the person knows me first i will welcome critisism whole heartidly into my life as if anyother i live lost in my own imaginatoin but constantly realizeing that fairy tails are for books not for real life wich is a cold and undounted place of missery and woe so i will not back…
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for the love I've never shared, for the people who, never cared for the blackest nights to bring my frights, to the men in my dreams, and the one man in my heart i stare in the darkness thinking do i have a part in me that isn't shielded heavily!
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the fire stone i see behind your eye's the red rimmed steel eye's the devils eye's this fire stone burning so hott beyond your eye's what does it say to you? when does its burning ease ?why does this stone of my desire lie behind your eye's and not another's? but your eye's are so confuseing so mysterious, and yet i long for them to be mine!
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i would sit alone in the dark. i would listen to the steady beat of my heart.slowly increasing in spead, then slowed to a steady drum roll. i wondered why is there such differance in life and death .a pulse a breath . what if after death there was nothing?, but silence no thoughts memories just darkness. the thought always brang tears to my eyes. to know that one day i would be nothing and wither to dust and nothing else after . but other times i feel that when you die you live in your dreams...
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The tears i cry are not for me but for the things i used to be. I used to smile I used to luagh until my world came crashing down and all i knew was that it was "true vengance can be sweet", but deadly too. So hear me cry and you'll know why the world can be a evil place and no one knows the answers or even the quetsoin. That is why i cry becouse i cant find out how, such a beuatiful place is filled with such cruel tricks and misseries!
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farthest from my mind but closest to my heart i heard his voice his wondeful molodic voice come from the forest i ran in the directoin from wich it came i looked desperately but nothing was found not a trace of him there but still his voice lingered in the air around me in my heart i wanted to beleive him here with me but in my mind i knew he would never be here with me again it made me weak it made me drop to the forest floor the only home to me my only sanctuary in the vast forest all seeme...
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i love how you used the old myth pandora's box and a mix of modern touch's to it and such and i think this is an amazeing peice and is worthy to be put in books and such!!!i love it love it love it!!!!!!
i really enjoyed this expecaily the part about the decaying sanctuary and the part about the anceint chourus of gods i love this peice and beleive you should keep writeing but use s's instead of z's when writeing something to be reveiwed some might take it a different way allthough i do the same but never in my writeing!
i liked it but in that last few lines you lost your rythmic word agreement it did not rhym smoothly at all on the last part its a good poem verry much so just a touch of rewording try this our hearts were as one, but you ran away with it then and let it die under the sweet moonlight you used heart twice in the last few sentances there and rhyming the same word really never blew over with me but i enjoyed the poem and hope to read more of your writeing soon.
i really have to say i would enjoy this as a poem but not as a song becouse as a poem the words would come together beuatifully but as a song i cant understand how that would sound and i understand i probably cant imagine that but i love the word and it would make a better poem over all then lyrics.
now i get what your trying to say but it just doesnt seem like a poem to me it seems more like a paragraph filled with questoins and statements and one small error thru actualy through this sort of questoin statement can make a good poem if worded and phrased the correct way but if not it sounds like your just holding a conversacoin with the reader and not reciteing poetry .
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