festadapaz's profile

festadapaz avatar
AGE: 43
LOC: Inglewood, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 14

Real as they come.

I have been writing ( two completed novels, three screenplays, several treatments, and pilots) seriously for six-years. Trying to become a professional. Hollywierd is a tough nut to crack.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Keepers of the Light
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
KEEPERS OF THE LIGHT THE AWOTABE Manu lies restless long after his bedtime. His mother, Tera, stokes the hearth. “Tell me about Élin,” Manu demands. Tera quickly makes the sign of the Tiapulu and then shouts, “Manu, do not say the names of the Tiapulu aloud!” Manu makes a circle in the air over his head and then divides it in half, “I'm sorry, Mother.” “You must respect the old ways always.” “I will... Can I hear the story now?&rd...
Ratings & Rankings
Screenplay / Decisions Before Dawn
Version 1
16 Reviews   1 Comment
DECISIONS BEFORE DAWN TREATMENT LOG: A dramatic love triad interacts throughout history in search of love and each other. A rift has existed between MAN and WOMAN almost since the moment they were created. Eight months from now, in New York, THE RIFT is going to be sealed by the ones who caused it, Adam, the first MAN, Lilith, the first WOMAN and Eve, the first FEMALE. Paradise: The Beginning of Time. Lilith and Adam are created at the same time and from the same material. They are equals in ...
Ratings & Rankings
Haiku/Senryu / Opinions
Version 1
2 Reviews   0 Comments
Those who defend their opinion are blind, deaf, stupid and dumb.
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Time
Version 1
1 Review   1 Comment
Time is the only answer to the questions I have. Time and patience. Time to see if God is listening and the patience to wait for the answer. I look to the stars for a sign, to point the way. Like a runaway slave trying to find North and freedom from my chains. An escape attempt to a better way of life. Running from somewhere to nowhere. Running from myself, into myself, and towards myself all at once, and again. Everywhere the mirror stands in the corner, Always staring back. The picture whos...
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / My New Bike
Version 1
4 Reviews   3 Comments
I remember riding my new bike through a nearby nature trail for the first time. I knew every inch of that park because I had played and walked it for years. It was a dream of mine to race through those woods on a bright red Mongoose. At $150.00, it was very expensive. I asked my grand father if I could have one the first time I saw it perched high on a display rack in JC Penny’s. He said he would help me buy it. If I raised half the money, he would put the remaining half on his card, and I co...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Poetry / Night
I have to be honest and say, "I don't understand most of this piece". Night—my albatross. I assume you are using the metaphoric meaning of the word:encumbrance, or a wearisome burden. the screaming wind in the wires. I am trying imagine what this sounds like and the connection to the first to phrases. The second stanza is pretty straight forward. My foe, the Nocturnal—the echo of death. The association of night and death throws me off a bit. The rest fits the rest of the poem. I am weak… Do n...
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Plastic Craft-Chapter 10
1) …we were being taken by jet to a secret location. To keep her safe, the President was moved to a new location every week. Only Beyla and top officials knew of her location. You used location three times in a row. It is repetitive. I would use synonyms. 2) …decked out jet. I would be careful using slang unless it is in the character’s profile. 3) the manikins. Manikins should be capitalized. 4) …, maybe war wasn’t her… Be careful of contractions was not is standard. 5) The assigned guard on...
Locked
Non-fiction / The Forest from Beyond
….decaying organic matter, I …. Only organic matter decays. “organic” is not needed. … creep down this God-forsaken …. “creep down” implies a descent, but I do no think or feel you were moving downhill. “creep through” …it is sickening in the most foul way! This is repetitive. Anything sickening is foul and you really do not need to say “in the most foul way!” …with rotten tree and grasses, though… rotten trees and…. I run and run and then I run no more…. I understand the prose, but I do not ...
Non-fiction / sad boy's love song
…rest of the surroundings. As always, …. Too many spaces between the end of the first sentence and the following one. …really is of no matter, but …. This sounds ambiguious. “really does not matter” What are you supposed to talk about when you don’t talk about love? Using talk twice in the same sentence is repetitive. What are you supposed to talk about when you do not discuss love? What did Raymond Carver know about love anyway? I do not know who Raymond Carver is and I am not about to look ...