Victimless crime only 4 syallables Suggest no caps or punctuation at the end Could take this two ways, as it is written or it could be about someone

Seems like you could do away with the (of) True quote--flip side is creating our own heaven

I would suggest no punctuation I grew up in Oklahoma and experienced tornadoes For me, this has meaning and imagery

Okay, running from the coming storm... Suggest no punctuation This one has meaning for I have had to run to storm cellers many times

Needs to be 5-7-5 Other than that, it is interesting Expand

A senryu of great meaning However, the third line seems to give too much praise... Why? He is not God, maybe a god No need for punctuation

describes human to the bone flesh and blood it's all about choices

You work is--2008 Creates thought...yes This embraces the very essence of what it is to be alive

This does not stand by its self. One needs the creator's notes to understand it. It needs to be able to be understood without NOTES.

takes me back to when I was a kid in the 60's standing in the backyard looking up at sputnik--that was such a defferent time i can't speak for others, but this connected with me suggestions--no caps needed NOTE: if you want a refund--that's ok, but what you wrote connected