fireballems's profile

fireballems avatar
AGE: 19
LOC: Pittsburgh, PA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 22

Me.  I am me.  But who is me.

enough with e.e cummings style prose.  

I am a writer/ filmmaker trekking his way through high school.  I am 17 (at the moment) and in 11th grade.  

I am in something with my girlfriend and longtime crush Amelia.  Much of my work is about her.  really everything is.  My muse, i call her.

i like the work of walt whitman and e.e. cummings.  the stories of Jack Kerouc and J.D. Salinger and Kurt Vonnaught.

I am me.

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Items
Version 1
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Flat pockmarked land is complimented by a cloudless blue sky, which fades to white at the horizon. Broken by concrete, land remains relentlessly forever sprawling. Billboards rise, but aren’t read through speeding car’s windows But forever straight fades into rising and falling waves upon tree-marked land. And then the road floats and the land sits and grows. Through the transparent sometimes speckled glass children watch, but pulling out into cars, parents groan about time lost and families ...
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Version 1
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I love is more than or equal to you love, is less than or equal to, us in love, is somewhere high above numbers and variables, an exponent to our equation of affection.
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Version 2
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I kiss your heart; from the moisture flowers spring in full bloom. Stroking your hair, strands of locks form a sea of thick brown curls between my languid fingers, which caress softly the ocean on your head. Your body, like a mountain ridge, does have reliefs which I do lay my fingers upon with the care of lover.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
I kiss your heart and from the moisture flowers spring in full bloom. Stroking your hair, strands of locks form seas of thick brown curls between my languid fingers, which caress softly the ocean on your head. Your body, like a mountain ridge, does have reliefs which I do lay my fingers upon with the care of lover.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 2
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You, and me, and us, and everything that ever was, and is, and will be, lives —singularly— in mind of new born, slowly awaking from the abyss of nothingness to light of existence.
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Reviews
Short Story / You Can Be Lawrence
i would make it all present tense when you talk about him imagining the girl, or sitting at the table, do not simply just say it, show it. great writing. your prose is faboulus. i think maybe you should add a little to the plot. to what his life was like before this. i like when he is on the guard rail. i love when he is talking on the phone. perfect. 9
Poetry / frugal bastard
i dont like it. YOu tell me to funny or not. your opening thing was confusing. i like the idea of the poem, but the actual poem. I find that you seem to, at times, flirt with some sort of ryhme schem and it takes away. also the tea kettle and breaad thing totaly break the flow. and also the end seems to not follow the beginign, two competing ideas. hope it helps.
Screenplay / work coming up...
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Poetry / Humor
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