flack's profile
AGE:
47
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 02
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 02
I have been writing on and off – jobs permitting – for many years.
Taking into account the critiques I recieved here for my novel ‘The Truth of the Dragons,’ I have gone away and tried to improve my grammer and delivery. Not easy to do when you are a bit long in the tooth and set in your ways! lol
My works include:
The Littles Voyage – 75% completed, and is my current project.
The Occasion Mists – Completed
Within the Heart of Time – Part I – 3/4 completed
Danny and the Cold Xmas – 50% completed
Danny and the Dolphins – In the early stages
Cobwebs of Pearl – Completed
The Truth of the Dragons – Completed
All of my works ultimately involve animals and I always try to work the stories from their point of view. I still have…
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Items
Version 1
3 Reviews
1 Comment
Part 1 - The History of the Present 01 - A Horror of Awakening Her eyes were closed, though bright sunlight was pouring through a window somewhere close by, painfully illuminating the insides of her eyelids. Her stomach hurt and, with eyes still closed, she ran her hands nervously over the large lump that was there. Her mind told her that it felt like a pregnant bump and that ‘soon, a child would be born,’ and then her hands froze in terror as other thoughts rushed in to fill a do...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
6 Reviews
0 Comments
Chapter 02 – A Life for a Life Grafee Gendusfraune pumped her wing muscles hard; long, deep thrusts forced her wings to drive into the winds and pull her along faster, increasing her speed. The dark forest below her was indiscernible to her eyes for she could see no details, only a blackness that twinkled with the occasional glint of moonlight upon some wet feature. Morning would soon arrive and by then she wanted to be a long way away from this place, leaving behind no trail that the humans ...
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Version 2
6 Reviews
2 Comments
Chapter 1 – Treasure and the Hourling Lightning bolted through the dark, night sky, ripping into a tall, mighty oak tree, sending shards of flaming debris scattering into the air, and illuminating the grim, rain-battered forest. Grafee Gendusfraune coiled her huge scale-covered body around in an arc, ensuring she placed her own body between her precious treasure and any possible falling tree that may come crashing, trying to destroy that treasure. Her tired muscles tensed, as she awaited the ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
13 Reviews
1 Comment
Chapter 1 – Treasure and the Hourling Lightning bolted through the dark, night sky, ripping into a tall, mighty oak tree, sending shards of flaming debris scattering into the air, and illuminating the grim, rain-battered forest. Grafee Gendusfraune coiled her huge scale-covered body around in an arc, ensuring she placed her own body between her precious treasure and any possible falling tree that may come crashing, trying to destroy that treasure. Her tired muscles tensed, as she awaited the ...
Ratings & Rankings
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Reviews
A lot of this scanned quite well, and at points where it did not I got the impression that is the words were sung correctly then it would scan. I would re-think the use of 'sick,' and 'hiatus' and replace them. They seem lost and out of place within the flow of the body of the work. 'frist kiss' & 'dreams with' went together particulary well. Your first 2 verses begin to delivery what promises to be a big story but then does not move forward and only repeats what it has to say. I think there ...
Hi This was a very nice and well presented piece and I could really only commment on one probloem that I saw with it... The line 'Cool to touch, I miss you so much' Here, you are gazing at the beuatiful child who has passed and it is nice and easy to say that you yourself misses them, but I feel it would be more correct to say 'Cool to touch, someone misses you so much.' This would make you then think of those who have been left behind to grieve. The mum, dad, brotheres, sisters, etc. It is a...
A very good piece that is extrmely well written. You draw the reader into the lives of the characters and your delivery of the ceremony could so easily have become boring\slow but you avoided this using excellent dialogue and interesting information. This piece flows perfectly and I was only thrown once by an awkward word placement that tripped me up. You have created a large world in this piece, cleverly allowing the reader to become aware of the 'outside' world without labouring on with 'in...
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