Wow! This was really interesting to read. I could feel the emotions and see everything she saw, just like I was there. You did a great job depicting the scene and emotion with an intimate passion. This is like nothing I have ever read before.

This is quite a touching short story. It's painful and beautiful and says a lot in so little words. The story actually says more than the words do, which is fascinating to me. Gosh, this makes me wanna cry, but I am not sure if it would be for joy or sadness! This really gives off a weird effect. It is so real, which I like better than the abstract things that get posted so often. It's real and modern and not the same old thing I have been reading on here over and over. More than anything, I ...

one thing I love about poetry is that it lets us get our thoughts and feelings out. I like the fact that this is just your mind emptying itself. It could be a little more fluent at parts, but I would leave it the way it is anyway. mine isn't always fluent, but if it is how I feel, then that is good enough, because that's all it was meant to be. yeah, and the place to start is always the hardest part. best of luck hon! :)

wow, "I'll live, I'll die..." that is amazing in it's context. I would love to hear this sung. It sounds like it would be a great song.

Now this was absolutely beautiful! It made me feel warm and peaceful to read the last line. I love a good ending and your whole poem was more than that! This is one of my favorite things I have read and I am going to save it to my favorites. I can't find a single thing within it that could use improvement!! :) Thanks so much for sharing!

Wow, this was a sweetly passionate poem. i think the last line was weird with it though. It makes perfect sense, I think I was just expecting something sweeter to match the rest of the poem, ya know?? The rest of the poem was absolutely sweet and wonderful, so I expected the ending to be like that too. beautiful job on the poem though, that would be my only suggestion! :)

"A gleam in the distance of hope" ... those words are amazing and so thought-provoking! The poem was a little confusing as to what exactly you were talking about. I could understand that there was a hurtful discussion, but the poem kinda leaves me hanging a bit, wondering about the details... wanting to know more of the story. I adore all of the amazing phrases though! I just wish they were put together a little clearer to the readers who don't know what the argument was about, or whatever th...

WOW! I really liked this! I love the fact that you pulled everything together in the end. I always love a good ending. This is very passionate, very real, and yet, surreal at the same time. It was like reading a movie because of the timeless imagery you put into it. I haven't seen anything like this yet.... definitely one of a kind! :)

This is powerful and VERY well written! It is written in a very classic, epic style that could entertain for centuries. The underlying themes leave us with so much to think about as well. I love poetry that leaves me dangling in thought. Thanks for sharing. :)

Beautiful and sad. I often say there is beauty in sadness, for in sadness there is truth. You have captured that by making him immortal with your pen in such a beautiful way and expressing your hurt in such a beautiful way. I loke the way you write, the way you put your words together. The way you express yourself. You actually made october and november more beautiful and meaningful than just the sad months you know. Thanks. It takes talent to do something like that. Best wishes.