fostern1's profile

I get it, but I'm not sure why it's in criticism and not in poetry. It is a poem, right? My first suggestion would be to avoid cliches like "The world my oyster." Unless you're using it in some unique way, it's just derivative. Also, try rewriting this with YOUR voice in your head. No 21 year old says "Sympathy I shall not give," or "I shall not weep." For some reason, when young people start writing (including, once upon a time, me) they suddenly become students in a British etiquette class....

Hi. I like where you're going with this, but you really need to dig deeper and be more detailed in your writing. "I sometimes wonder about my thoughts and what they are meant to accomplish." Great opener. Now tell me what you mean. What thoughts? An example? And what do you mean by "what they are meant to accomplish?" I think I understand, but I'm not sure that's good enough. I want to be sure I understand, and I need you to help. Frankly, I think you ought to do away with the first sentence ...

Great. But what do you really want to say? Are you upset because you can't complain? And if so, what do you want to complain about? Are you sure you're complaining about something that belongs here at Urbis? If I'm unhappy with a review, I use the comment area to complain. Have you tried using the comment area to complain? I don't skip anything but poetry, because frankly, I don't get poetry. Haven't ever been able to figure it out. I read criticisms because I find that they're the most easy ...

I think this is a brilliant piece of writing and it should be out there for people to read. You've taken the issue of abuse and made it very real, very clear, and very understandable. It's not the abuse itself that does the most harm, I've learned, but the reaction to an act of sexual abuse by the people who are supposed to protect kids and teenagers and adults from falling victim to it. It's the mother who tells her daughter to just forget about it, and "don't tell your father," who does the...