This is a nice poem for someone of 17 years. Better than what I was putting out at that age. I take it to be a spiritual poem. It smacks of discontent with the world, the perseverance of the Christian in his (or her) fight to remain faithful and steadfast until the appointed day.

"And so I come to you A heavier man" After all that exercise. I get the meaning, and love the way its presented. Lighter of flesh, heavier of mind. And of spirit? Excellent work. Don't be put out by the nines I've given this work, keep in mind that poetry is like women: no such thing as a perfect 10. Sexist, I know. Can't help it, it's how I'm wired.

Well written, and to a guy, informative. I wonder if I was ever the guy to any of the girls in my class? Probably not. Most likely, I was the geek. Maybe the idiot.

It's hard for me to give pointers. I hate it when somebody tries to re-write my work when I know it's how I want it. The only point of contention I might have in your song is the "Catcher and the rye" line. Is this intentional, or did you misprint "Catcher in the Rye"? either way, it gives me something to think about when the song is finished. The song has a voice not unlike a country song or maybe a rocker in the style of Melancamp or Springsteen. Placing voice in a song lyric is a difficult...

Nice and clear. Nothing to confuse the point. In this day of hard rock-hip hop "He who offends best-wins-" the song might be considered a little weak. For a country song, it stands a pretty good chance. Good job.

Is the USC in question East coast (Go cocks!) or West coast (South Cal?) You can tell I'm a good ol' southern boy. Great cheer, I got no suggestions. None are needed.

Nice poem. Works better as poem than six word story. Not to take away from the work. Six word poems aren't easy either. If I may, I'd like to take your 'notes for reviewer' and add one word: Instructions: All answers are inside us

Nice, to the point, and relevant. It kinda reads like country blues. Maybe Merl. Considering the topic, the phrase "Nice job" might seem inappropriate. Nice job!

I like the theme. It's one I return to in my writings (from the opposite perspective, but with the same message.)