free_willy has no favorites yet.
free_willy's profile
AGE:
53
LOC: Enid, OK
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 15
LOC: Enid, OK
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 15
This user has not yet uploaded an urbis user description/profile.
Items
Version 1
9 Reviews
10 Comments
Mortimer Snert and the Candy Bar Police It was a Fri Day in the neighbourhood when Mortimer Snert discovered himself dozing off at his desk. It had been an excruciatingly long week, spent capturing endless hours of inane video and causing it to be ingested into the internal workings of the automation device. To say that Mort might have been a tad bored might have been the understatement of the century so far. He was desperately in need of some type of motivation, and that motivation took the ...
[ View all items ]
Reviews
Since this is a prologue to a story, and therefore really short, there is not a whole lot to go on, and it might make this review sound harsh. This is not my intent here. There was a good amount of information presented here, enough to certainly make for an interesting story. 5000 years of history are about to be revealed, hopefully including information on the monsters which appeared on earth and are destroying it. I'm expecting to learn about Vincent Linton, what kind of RPGs he played and ...
I'm glad you provided a synopsis of the previous chapters before diving into this one. This is one of the problems with just reviewing single chapters. I suppose that had I read the first chapters, the beginning of this one would have made more sense. However, being Sci-fi/fantasy, one can get away with things that conventional writers would not be able to. I did like the story, although I have to admit I had to read it several times to catch all of the action. The interaction between Evan an...
Nice chapter. It flowed smoothly, enough stuff to keep you interested in what was going on, good foreshadowing with the kids and the man in the old house. Technically, it was good too, a few glitches in spelling but overall a very easy read. It sounds like it's going to be an interesting story..
Interesting first chapter. The fairy story premise is a good subject for young adults. There was enough action to keep me interested, and you pretty much captured the 13 year old kid mentality exactly. I didn't notice anything really distracting in the form or structure, generally overall a good story so far.
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People





